IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV. Agree or Disagree?

#people #pleasure #time #imagination #tv
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Whilest
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Whilst
 many
people
Use synonyms
 think reading
books
Use synonyms
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
Imagination
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 because
book
Add an article
the book
a book
show examples
 is a great source
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 many think
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 watch
Tv
Use synonyms
 does not have better
Imagination
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 ,
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time .I think both sides have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own
significant
Replace the word
significance
show examples
. On the one hand, Book provides us
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
huge amount of
knowledge
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 . There are many
story
Correct your spelling
storybooks
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books
Use synonyms
 which help to raise creativity
quality
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 into us. By reading those
books
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 we start to think differently ,
Correct word choice
and starts
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starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
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 observing things around us .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 the growing
Imagination
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quality
Use synonyms
change
Change the verb form
changes
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the
Change the word
our
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outliik
Correct your spelling
outlook
 of
ours
Correct pronoun usage
our
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 and provide us
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
oppoetunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to explore the talent to become
writer
Add an article
a writer
show examples
 .
For example
Linking Words
, by reading Human
Ahmad
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Ahmad's
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 story
books
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 will start thinking
ditterently
Correct your spelling
differently
 like him and
also
Linking Words
 will try to
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
 the creativity
quality
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 into themselves which will help to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
imagination
Use synonyms
 power.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , though
TV
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 lots of shows , some are useful for us
some
Correct word choice
and some
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 are bad .
However
Linking Words
 , many educational and entertainment show helps us
to
Change preposition
apply
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not only
Improve
Fix capitalization
improve
show examples
 our
Imagination
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
inspires
Correct subject-verb agreement
inspire
show examples
 us to participate
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 them .
TV
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 gives practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 give
imagination
Use synonyms
knowledge
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
 ,
spelling
Correct article usage
the spelling
show examples
 bee and
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
Correct article usage
the indian
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indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
 Idol show are inspiring many children to
perticipate
Correct your spelling
participate
 into that and those are improving the creativity
quality
Use synonyms
 as well . But
TV
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 has many
distraction
Change to a plural noun
distractions
show examples
 which is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time and
also
Linking Words
 has
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 impact on
people
Use synonyms
 . In conclusion , watching
TV
Use synonyms
 and reading
books
Use synonyms
 both helps us to improve our
Imagination
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 in
different
Add an article
a different
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 way .
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
 has more
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
 but If we will avoid those
then
Linking Words
It
Correct pronoun usage
We
show examples
 can get
advantage
Correct article usage
an advantage
show examples
 from it . For
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 I think both
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 Important for us.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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