IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Getting promotion is one of the biggest drivers for people to apply themselves and work hard in the modern work place. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?

#promotion #drivers #people #work #place #factors #influence
Getting
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
show examples
 is one of the biggest drives for
people
 to apply themselves and
work
 hard in the modern workplace. There are many reasons why
people
 are so driven to get promoted.
First,
a
promotion
 often comes with a significant increase in salary.
This
 can be a major financial incentive, especially for
people
 who are struggling to make ends meet. A
promotion
 can
also
 lead to other financial benefits,
such
 as bonuses, stock options, and better healthcare coverage.
Second,
a
promotion
 can give
people
 a sense of achievement and satisfaction. It is a recognition of their hard
work
 and dedication, and it can boost their self-esteem. A
promotion
 can
also
 lead to more responsibility and challenges, which can be a source of personal growth.
Third,
a
promotion
 can open up new opportunities for career advancement. It can lead to a better position within the same company, or it can open up the door to a new job with a different company.
This
 can give
people
 a chance to grow their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 and reach their full potential.
In addition
 to financial rewards, there are other factors that influence
people
 to
work
 hard. Some
people
 are driven by a desire to be the best at what they do. They want to be recognized for their skills and accomplishments, and they want to make a difference in the world. Other
people
 are motivated by a sense of duty or responsibility. They feel that they have a responsibility to their employer, their colleagues, and their customers to do their best
work
. Ultimately, the reasons why
people
work
 hard are as varied as the
people
 themselves.
However
, getting a
promotion
 is one of the biggest drivers for
people
 to apply themselves and
work
 hard in the modern workplace.
Submitted by linxy97011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: