Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places

It is true that many individuals believe that more money ought to be used on more artworks

such

as paintings and statues in urban areas by the

government

in order to make them worthy places to settle down. Personally, I firmly agree with

this

view

due to

various reasons. There are two key reasons why I am convinced that the

government

should

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

their expense on works of

art

. The primary one is that museums conducting exhibitions of paintings or sculptures are

one

Correct determiner usage

some

show examples

of the most well-known tourist attractions in a country. Spending more money on them is the best idea for improving the tourism industry as numerous visitors will pay a visit to discover new artworks.

Besides

, it is

also

an opportunity for artists within the nation to express their abilities.

For example

, research shows that the number of visitors coming to

Viet Nam

Correct your spelling

Vietnam

show examples

in 2022 increased significantly after the

government

paid more attention to introducing different types of

art

to the public. The second factor to explain why I believe so is that

art

is considered to be the symbol of cultures related to the regions. Those paintings and statues of various famous great men not only represent the history and the tradition of the nation to the world but

also

help the young generations understand more about what happened in the place where they are living and appreciate those.

For instance

, Vietnamese students usually take part in some extra activities involved in their school programmes

such

as visiting museums,

art

galleries and historical monuments so that they are able to know more about how their forefathers fought for their tranquillity. In conclusion, it seems to me that putting more effort into

art

is always the best recommendation for the

government

to make cities become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

to live in.

Moreover

, it is necessary for everyone to reserve and appreciate those works of

art

as well.

Submitted by danphamngocha on Mon Aug 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points and provides closure to the essay.

task response

Ensure that the introduction clearly states the position and previews the main points of the essay.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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