IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 word

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 word
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons #word
The bar graph illustrates some differences
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the percentage of humans born in
Australia
 and those outside
Australia
 (
cities
,
towns
 and rural
areas
) in 1995 and 2010.
Overall
,
Cities
 have a higher count of
people
 than rural
areas
 or
towns
 for both, population outside and in
Australia
. The second highest place after
cities
 would be rural
areas
 and
then
towns
. But that changes in 2010, as the city's population plummeted,
towns
Correct word choice
and towns
show examples
 and rural
areas
 have lesser and lesser
people
 born. In 1995,
cities
 had a greater amount of
people
 being born. Not many
people
 were born in
towns
while
 rural
areas
 still had a considerable amount of
people
 birthing there. But compared to
people
 born in
Australia
,
people
 born outside
Australia
 were born more in rural
areas
. The popularity of
people
 being born in
towns
 lessened when the focus shifts to
people
 born outside
Australia
. For the record of 2010, the rate of
people
 born in
Australia
 and outside was high in
cities
.
Nevertheless
,
people
 born outside
Australia
 had a higher number (20 more compared to 1995) of
people
 being born in
cities
. The trend of children being born in
towns
 and rural
areas
 lessens in 2010.
People
 living outside
Australia
, giving birth in rural
areas
 almost becomes negligent. An extreme drop compared to the graph of 1995.
Submitted by revatidave1503 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, cities, towns, areas, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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