Some parents believe that extra private lessons outside school hours, where students work alone with a teacher, can help them do better at school. Others disagree. What are the advantages and disadvantages of private tuition?

Nowadays,
tourism
has become very popular, because many countries are open to
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
and offer attractive entertainment to visit. For some governments, it is an important source of income. At the same time,
this
industry
might lead to social and cultural problems as long as it is not under control and managed in the right way. In
this
essay, there will be discussed the pros and cons of
tourism
and I will provide my opinion as well. Looking at the positive point of view, there should be highlighted a very important benefit of
tourism
like money. Many tiny countries
are existing
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
until they will be interested
for
Change the preposition
in
show examples
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
from all over the world. Their economics are based on the
tourism
industry
. For others, it is a significant part of a state budget and a real chance to involve people and show them attractions and ancient places. Generally speaking,
tourism
can help develop local regions, create workplaces, build new infrastructure, etc.
Moreover
,
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
are invited into different areas
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
an opportunity to discover the unique cultural customs and habits of local societies. Turning to the other side of the argument, a few problems regarding
this
industry
should be taken into account.
Firstly
, very often people who visit wild locations harm the environment and destroy ecosystems, leaving behind unpleasant remnants of their stay.
Secondly
, the
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
of
tourism
totally changes the
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
of local inhabitants.
Instead
of carrying on with their usual activities
such
as hunting, fishing, or planting, indigenous people earn easy money by creating some souvenirs and working as tour guides. It is obvious, that
this
tendency leads to the degradation of local cultures and national customs. In conclusion, it is a common belief that
tourism
, in general, has various advantages like a significant income and learning of authentic habits.
However
, I am sure, that governments should remember about possible natural, social, and cultural damages
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
caused by
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
in order to prevent these negative effects and create an appropriate process for control and management of the
tourism
industry
.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a good coverage of the topic with relevant examples. However, there are issues with the logical flow and connection between the ideas. Ensure that each paragraph links to the previous and the next one, providing a smooth progression of ideas.
task response
You have provided a comprehensive response to the task, covering both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism. However, some points could be further elaborated to provide a clearer and more in-depth discussion of the topic. Ensure that you fully address all aspects of the question and support your points with specific examples and evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: