Why do students prefer doing part-time jobs during their studies? Do you ‎think this has more advantages or disadvantages?‎

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These days, the majority of youngsters prefer to earn their pocket money by themselves,

although

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they have been studying, still they want to work and try their best to manage it well. From my ,perspective

this

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trend has more merits than demerits and I would like to shed light on both in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

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with, adults want to be financially independent, and despite they have been studying

this

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change has brought a plethora of advantages in their lives.

Initially

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, they need not bother their parents to fulfil their fundamental requirements;

consequently

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, once wards initiate to earn, they have less financial burden.

For instance

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, guardians could enjoy their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and fulfil their dreams, when their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

are

grown-up

Correct your spelling

grown up

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and smart enough to handle their problems.

Besides

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, young ones could attain many skills

while

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working as they would learn to coordinate their time of learning and working, abilities of problem-solving would

also

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be improvised,

thus

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their personalities could be developed well in the young phase.

On the other hand

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, learners have to face some difficulties and they have to struggle a lot to achieve their goals.

In other words

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, they would face hurdles to accomplish their daily tasks in a certain time frame, but their hectic schedules might not let them concentrate well on their school work.

For example

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, a lack of time management in students could cause problems for them

to cope

Wrong verb form

coping

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with their studies and

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

jobs,

subsequently

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, they might receive

fewer

Correct word choice

lower

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grades.

Moreover

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, having ample responsibilities at a young age could

refrain

Verb problem

prevent

show examples

them from their companions or they could not enjoy their life as they could have more stress. In conclusion, nowadays, students are trying their best to manage their working and studying life,

therefore

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, they would get hands-on experience at an early age.

However

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, it could exert too much tension on their brain and leads to poor grades. In my opinion, it has more benefits as drawbacks could be overcome by proper guidance of parents and trainers.

lavisharma622Mon Aug 07 2023

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task response

Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt. Clearly present your position and support it with relevant examples.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more structured and cohesive manner. Use transition words and connective devices to improve the flow of your essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions to convey your ideas.

grammatical range

Work on sentence structure, verb tenses, and accuracy to enhance the overall grammatical range of your writing.

17
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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Why do students prefer doing part-time jobs during their studies? Do you ‎think this has more advantages or disadvantages?‎

The picture below shows how a hot balloon works. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Some employees want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.