IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some museum and art galeries charge admission fees while other have free entry. Do you think the advantages of admission fees outweigh the disadvantages.

#museum #art #galeries #charge #admission #fees #entry
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
museums
 and
art
galleries
 make
people
 pay to enter. In my opinion, entering
museums
 and
art
galleries
 for free can n make
people
 more interested in these things, and entering for free could have a lot of risks One obvious advantage to charging admission is to save all paintings and their status from stilling or ruined because usually,
people
 who have to pay for something will be more careful than entering for free.
Also
, the
museums
 can benefit from charging
people
 to update the place to look wonderful and acceptable to the human mind, and the government will take care of any
museums
 and
art
galleries
 they charge
people
 to enter the place.
However
, making
people
 enter for free have a lot of risks
such
 as ruining their pants because the government ignores some free-entering
art
galleries
 that encourage
people
 to be less careful and start playing inside the
art
galleries
 and ruined some important paintings.
Finally
, for
museums
, some old things could be stolen because the guards are less careful and they do not care whether someone has stolen any of the important antiques from the
museums
. In conclusion,
while
 paying for
museums
 and
art
galleries
 makes
people
 more interested, they are a lot of worst things that could happen to enter for free
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: