An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care cost. why do you think so many children are overweigtht? what could be done to solve this problem?

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Obesity is unquestionably one of the most prevalent and worrying issues in any society, and its prevention should be taken seriously. I consider unhealthy diet habits and lack of

exercises

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exercise

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to be the main reasons for

this

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upcoming problem,

however

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, the consequences could be prevented by keeping some simple rules. I reckon that the consumption of inappropriate products is the main factor

Change preposition

behind

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this

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terrible trend.

Firstly

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, a lot of adults do not have enough time to cook at home,

therefore

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in many

countries

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,countries

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it is common to visit junk and fast-food restaurants in order to have a quick snack. Unfortunately, it is known that processed and full of trans-fatty acids food increase the possibility of gaining weight several times.

Moreover

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, modern children are more likely to spend all their spare time playing computer games or scrolling social media,

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consequently

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,consequently

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they simply could not burn eaten calories. The number of adipocytes depends on a person’s childhood,

therefore

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it is crucial for parents to pay attention to every meal of their child.

Moreover

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, various activities

such

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as football or volleyball are significant for a growing organism and should be done in order to control the BMI (Body Mass Index). Hundreds of scientific research have already shown the benefits of

exercises

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exercise

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, which could be seen in every part of the body.

To conclude

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, nowadays hundreds of young people are suffering from obesity, caused by an absence of physical activity and quality products.

However

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this

Linking Words

problem could be definitely solved by completely changing some nutritious habits.

sofsya.fedorenko.2001Tue Aug 08 2023

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care cost. why do you think so many children are overweigtht? what could be done to solve this problem?

People find it difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skills are really important? Do you agree that public speaking should be taught at school?

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community. Are disadvantages of this requirement greater than the benefits for the community and individuals?