IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Using a computer everyday can have a negative influence on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #influence #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the positive benefits of using a computer are generally recognized and seem to outweigh those disadvantages. In
this
Linking Words
 technological era, the biggest advantage we can easily see is that computers provide
children
Use synonyms
 with learning tools
as well as
Linking Words
 entertainment. They are taught and encouraged to gain more information using cartoon web pages.
Children
Use synonyms
 and teenagers,
however
Linking Words
, can connect with their friends through online communication software so that
children
Use synonyms
 now can learn and communicate from far distances.
Besides
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 can be easily attracted by the activities in educational computer programs, allowing them to learn well in a fun environment. For all of these amazing benefits, we do believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to get to know about technology in the early ages which will help them to grow independently in
this
Linking Words
 fast-paced generation. In a related study, the e-Learning Foundation showed that
children
Use synonyms
 with Internet access at home get higher grades.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: