Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #think #activities #child’s #health

In recent times,

children

watch a considerable of Television and play

video

games

However

, some believe that these activities are not advantageous for a child’s mental health. I totally disagree with

this

statement on the grounds that

and

video

games

can bring several benefits including

enhance

Wrong verb form

enhancing

show examples

learning

Add an article

the learning

show examples

process, creativity, and communication

skills

To begin

with, I completely believe that watching a significant of

and

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

computer

games

can

helpful

Add a missing verb

be helpful

show examples

for

children

mentally. Regarding television, watching

programs can speed up

learning

Correct article usage

the learning

show examples

process among

children

This

is because

programs contain sounds and pictures, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

learning for

children

more interesting.

For example

, watching educational

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

via

Change preposition

apply

show examples

about animals can make

easy

Correct pronoun usage

it easy

show examples

to understand

animals

Change noun form

animals'

animal's

show examples

behaviour and sounds.

Furthermore

, during watching

children

can improve their

languages

Change the noun form

language

show examples

skills

namely, listening, and speaking . When it comes to

video

games

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

video

games

can

boosts

Change the verb form

boost

show examples

creativity among

children

. To illustrate, some computer

video

games

require

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

to solve puzzles in order to

wine

Correct your spelling

win

show examples

For instance

video

Add an article

a video

show examples

game called Minecraft

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

children

to solve puzzles and

teach

Correct subject-verb agreement

teaches

show examples

them how to overcome challenges.

Moreover

, some online

video

games

can have

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

impact on

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

communication

skills

This

is because

children

can play with different people worldwide from different cultures and backgrounds, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can make

children

more social.

Consequently

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

video

games

can a have

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

influence

Change preposition

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mental health.

To sum up

, I strongly think

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

show examples

and

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

computer

games

can positive effect on

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mental health

due to

it boosts

learning

Correct article usage

the learning

show examples

process, creativity, and communication

skills

Submitted by faiz3177 on Tue Aug 08 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is more important to plant trees in towns and cities than to build houses. Do you agree or disagree?

48.Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

Every year large number Of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons discussed the advantages and disadvantages Of migration for the individual and for society as a whole