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Band 4

THE USE OF MOBILE PHONES IS AS ANTISOCIAL AS SMOKING. SMOKING IS BANNED IN CERTAIN PLACES SO MOBILE PHONE SHOULD BE BANNED LIKE SMOKING. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

#phones #places #phone
There is no doubt that using
a mobile
Correct the article-noun agreement
mobile phones
a mobile phone
show examples
phones
 is a necessary part of life around the world these days and it is antisocial as smoking. some people believe that smoking is banned in many places so mobile
phones
also
 should be banned like smoking.
This
 essay will discuss both
sides'
Correct your spelling
sides
show examples
agree
Replace the word
agreement
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 and
disagreement
Replace the word
disagree
show examples
 on
this
 issue and will draw my personal opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, smoking is more dangerous than mobile
phones
. It has many negative affect on the human and government.
For example
, it affects the lifestyle and the heart.
Also
, it
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 totally on health habits.
For instance
, the person feels more tired when he wants to do any sport.
On the other hand
, the mobile phone has various benefits in our life. Communication is the main benefit of it. To illustrate, it is the best way to communicate with each other at any time and any place. What is more, In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both points
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
, I totally disagree about
this
 argument and it is not necessary to ban mobile
phones
.
Submitted by almeem on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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