IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK in 1990.

The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK in 1990.
#bar #expenditure #million #pounds #food #items #income #groups #uk
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph below shows the Expenditure in
Million
Use synonyms
Pounds
Use synonyms
 on fast
food
Use synonyms
 items by
income
Use synonyms
 groups in the UK in 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
,
hamburger
Add an article
the hamburger
a hamburger
show examples
 was the most popular
with
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 with high
income
Use synonyms
 and average
income
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 with low
income
Use synonyms
 spent the most on fish and chips. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hamburger,
people
Use synonyms
 with high
Use synonyms
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
 spent more than 45
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
. Follow by
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 with
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 spent about 30
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 with low
income
Use synonyms
 only spent 15
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 to buy
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
.
About
Change preposition
Regarding
show examples
 fish and chips,
people
Use synonyms
 with
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 spent 25
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
people
Use synonyms
 with high and low
Use synonyms
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
 spent only 15
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 on fish and chips. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pizza,
people
Use synonyms
 with high
income
Use synonyms
 spent about 20
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 with average and low
income
Use synonyms
 only spent
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half and one third compared to
people
Use synonyms
 with high
income
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Submitted by nhungnguyen1209931 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words million, pounds, food, income, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: