IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

One of the most pressing problems facing the world today is overpopulation. What policies do you think governments should adopt to address the causes and effects of this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*

#world #overpopulation #policies #governments #address #effects
The modern
Correct article usage
Modern
show examples
 society is facing a plethora of problems, and overpopulation happens to be among the most common of them.
Although
 it is deemed to be a quite controversial topic, population control
policies
 are being commonly discussed on the political level and even adopted by some governments nowadays. To start off with the topic of these
policies
, some examples should be mentioned of the cases of their active usage in modern history,
such
 as China's infamous law on the number of children in a single household. Until recently,
Chinese
Add an article
the Chinese
show examples
 government used to tax families that willingly had more than one child. It allowed the country to bring its' extreme birth rates down for the economy to keep up with the number of
its'
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 existing population. The mentioned law,
however
, had recently been revised, becoming much less restrictive, and allowing families to comfortably afford having more children.
Although
 China was not the only country in modern history to directly restrict the means of reproduction, its' example has been mentioned actively in mass media, bringing up the questions of
morality
Add an article
the morality
show examples
 of
such
policies
. Of course,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity should come up with
counter measures
Correct your spelling
countermeasures
show examples
 for overpopulation, but the dilemma of restricting life in order to survive seems way more complex than it might sound
initially
.
This
 is best illustrated
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the countless examples of failed population control attempts made by the Russian government during the Soviet Union era. Among those were the attempts of secularizing the conservative religious communities around the Southern Caucasus in order to convince the people in that region to give up on the concept of having big extended families. To sum it up, overpopulation is indeed a serious threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our civilization
as of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 current times.
Although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
policies
 on controlling it should be introduced, those
policies
 should not be too restrictive on humans.
Submitted by tukezaliyeva96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: