There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, children received lots of

pressured

Change the form of the verb

pressure

show examples

to succeed in their academic journey. There is the

believe

Replace the word

belief

show examples

that

subjects

like Physical

education

and

cookery

should be removed from

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

syllabus. I strongly believe that

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

course

Fix the agreement mistake

courses

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are fundamental for

a

Correct article usage

the

show examples

good social development of young people. I consider that

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

subjects

help to improve the

concentration

.

In addition

, they help to improve their ability to survive in a complex society.

Firstly

,

i

Change the capitalization

I

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would talk about how

concentration

is related to

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

subjects

. Physical

education

helps

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

kids to learn about

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

body. Having

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

habits is fundamental for a

relax

Replace the word

relaxed

show examples

and clear mind.

For example

, there is a study from the

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

of Oxford that demonstrates the strong

relation

Replace the word

relationship

show examples

between

concentration

and sports.

Therefore

,

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

subjects

, like physical

education

,

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

to

improved

Change the verb

improve

show examples

concentration

in young people.

Secondly

, learning about

subjects

like

cookery

helps

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children survive a more complex society.

For instance

, a kid the learned how to cook

wont

Add an apostrophe

won't

show examples

need

to

Correct your spelling

too

show examples

much help from others

,

Remove the comma

apply

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and even could give a hand

in

Change preposition

with

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house needs.That said, cooking and nutrition are fundamental aspects that will help them navigate their life.

Thus

, learning

cookery

will improve the ability to survive in society. To summarize,

Non academic

Add a hyphen

Non-academic

show examples

subjects

like Physical

education

an

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

Cookery

will help

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children to improve their

concentration

and

overall

abilities to survive in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern societies.

That is

why I

considere

Correct your spelling

consider

considered

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

subjects

are fundamental for

social

Correct article usage

the social

show examples

development of young people. In regards to the future schools should invest more in these types of courses to help

prepared

Wrong verb form

prepare

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kids for their adulthood.