IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #show #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
These two given
graph
Change the determiner
graphs
show examples
 provide some information about various kinds of
crimes
 that have happened throughout the
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
show examples
 year in the United Kingdom
besides
 some data that are related to the frequency of
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
criminal actions among individuals from dissimilar
age
 groups.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most criminal activities have been done by young citizens in their youth.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violent
crimes
 were the most popular type of criminal
commitments
Fix the agreement mistake
commitment
show examples
 throughout
this
 time frame.
According to
line
Add an article
the line
show examples
 graph, people who were older
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 8 years old have committed a
crime
.
Furthermore
, the
crime
 rate that started after the
age
 of 8 reached a peak of 80
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
age
 of 20 and
then
 the rate of
crime
 showed a downward trend
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
age
 of 28 . based on data that can be observed after the
age
 of 28,
It is clear that
 older dwellers displayed
lower
Add an article
a lower
show examples
 tendency to commit a
crime
. Moving into
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violent
crimes
 occupied the first rank among these four types of
crime
 at 46% and they were the most common
crime
 in Britain over the mentioned time, public order
crimes
 have been committed by a tiny minority of criminals.
Submitted by m.v.g1371 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words crimes, age, crime with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • The line graph depicts
  • The pie chart illustrates
  • reveals
  • displays
  • depicts
  • the trend of
  • the overall crime rate
  • steadily decreased
  • the distribution of
  • different types of crime
  • prevalent
  • accounts for
  • the most common crime
  • followed by
  • make up
  • a smaller proportion of
  • the total crimes
  • a smaller percentage
  • approximately
  • the remaining percentage
  • It is important to note that
  • reflects
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