The charts below show the result of a survey about what peopel of differwncw age groups say makes them most happy

#show #survey #peopel #differwncw #age #groups

Survey

Correct article usage

The survey

show examples

shows the different age groups and what makes them most happy. Overview, there

are

two

pie charts that show the different topics about

makes

Correct pronoun usage

what makes

show examples

phappy

Correct your spelling

happy

. The information is separated into

two

different

categories

people

under

thirty

and

people

over

thirty

. The

five

areas

that make

people

happy under

thirty

are

hobbies

, good

appearance

, travelling,

work

achievements

and

others

. There

are

three

that

are

the same for the over

thirty

group

Change to a plural noun

groups

show examples

. These

are

hobbies

work

and

others

, with the

two

different

ones

being financial

security

and family.

categories

people

under

thirty

and

people

over

thirty

. The

five

areas

that make

people

happy under

thirty

are

hobbies

, good

appearance

, travelling,

work

achievements

and

others

. There

are

three

that

are

the same for the over

thirty

group

Change to a plural noun

groups

show examples

. These

are

hobbies

work

and

others

, with the

two

different

ones

being financial

security

and family.

categories

people

under

thirty

and

people

over

thirty

. The

five

areas

that make

people

happy under

thirty

are

hobbies

, good

appearance

, travelling,

work

achievements

and

others

. There

are

three

that

are

the same for the over

thirty

group

Change to a plural noun

groups

show examples

. These

are

hobbies

work

and

others

, with the

two

different

ones

being financial

security

and family.

categories

people

under

thirty

and

people

over

thirty

. The

five

areas

that make

people

happy under

thirty

are

hobbies

, good

appearance

, travelling,

work

achievements

and

others

. There

are

three

that

are

the same for the over

thirty

group

Change to a plural noun

groups

show examples

. These

are

hobbies

work

and

others

, with the

two

different

ones

being financial

security

and family.

Submitted by alfred on Tue Aug 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Add some linking words.

▼

Linking words: Add linking words.

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words two, categories, people, thirty, five, areas, hobbies, appearance, work, achievements, others, three, group, are, ones, security with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

0Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

249 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
It is notable that the majority of victual goods contain an immense amount of carbohydrates which contributes several health issues such as diabetes and obesity. It is believed that by increasing the prices of manufactured sugary products, people will tend to tone down their sugar intake. From my point of view, I think this is not a good idea and disagree that such an imposition on sugar-sweetened food and drink.
7
band
Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned. What are the main advantages of banning private education? Are there any circumstances ehre private education should be allowed? What is your own opinion on the matter?
It is a well-known fact that education has been the most essential in people's lives throughout history. Nowadays, it is provided by both public and private schools. Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be held up by the government and private studies should be banned. However, there are circumstances where the private school should be encouraged. In this essay, we will discuss both points with relevant examples and evidence.
7
band
Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages of relying to much on technology?
These days, modern technology is widely used in the majority of workplaces. In my opinion, this has helped companies to save a lot of money; nevertheless, there are some disadvantages that can be noted when they depend on technology too much.
6
band
Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged by some people that moral ethics need to be educated by the police, whereas others argue that families should take care of behavioural education of their children. In my opinion, child development starts at the early stage in families and parents should be responsible to teach what is good or bad, in addition, educational institutions should collaborate with them at middle and high school stages.
7
band
Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently, countries usually spend a lot of profit to educate young learners while there is a statement saying that it should be used to create more physical activities for the younger generations. The author strongly agrees that the government should be concerned more about the money used for free time activities of young people to help them improve their health and mentality.

The charts below show the result of a survey about what peopel of differwncw age groups say makes them most happy

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages of relying to much on technology?

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?