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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree courses. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree courses. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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We are given two charts. The pie chart explains the future goals of anthropology students
which
Correct word choice
that
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 they pursued after their graduation.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the table shows their salaries after 5 years of working.
Overall
Linking Words
, we observe that minority pupils after degree completion went for part-time work, alongside, took admission in postgraduate studies.
Whereas
Linking Words
, those working in
government
Add an article
the government
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 sector,
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 had a salary of 100,000+. Digging deep into detail, we see in the circle chart, a total of 52%
alumni
Change preposition
of alumni
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 opted for
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
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 work.
However
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, there were a few
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 (12%) that remained unemployed. Individuals, about whom no one had knowledge where they are and the
one’s
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ones
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 that started
post-graduate
Add an article
the post-graduate
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 study, both
of
Change preposition
apply
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their proportions remained the same i.e., 8%.
Nevertheless
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, 15% of teenagers were
find
Change the form of the verb
found
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 working
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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. Now looking at the salaries table, we have three
type
Change to a plural noun
types
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 of
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
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, including Freelance consultants, Government Sector and Private companies. For
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
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 two types, the salary remained the same, 5% of them were earning between 25000 to 49,999.
On the other hand
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, 15% of them were earning $50,000 to 74,999. The third type showed
different
Add an article
a different
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 pattern. $25000 – 49,999 salary was specified for 10%
workers
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of workers
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 and $50,000 to 74,999 income was allotted to 35%
workers
Change preposition
of workers
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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