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Writing Samples /
Band 4

The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK in 1990.

The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK in 1990.
#bar #expenditure #million #pounds #food #items #income #groups #uk
The Bargraph below illustrates the expenditure in
million
pounds
Change preposition
of pounds
show examples
 on fast food items by tom grap in the UK in 1990 (including
hamberger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
, fish and chips,
pizza
Correct word choice
and pizza
show examples
).
Overall
,
humberger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
Schlumberger
 was the most popular
people
Change preposition
among people
show examples
 with high
income
 and
people
 with average
income
.
Whereas
, fish and chips
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the most bought
people
Change preposition
by people
show examples
 with low
income
. For the 2 dishes that
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 most spent as
humberger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
, the
people
 with high
income
 spent the most money on
this
 dish with more
45
Change preposition
than 45
show examples
million
pounds
 .Followed by the
people
 with average
income
. Spent about 35
million
pounds
 on
this
 dish.
In contrast
, the
people
 with low
income
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only spent 25
million
ounds
Correct your spelling
pounds
rounds
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
humberger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
 For fish and chips, the
people
 with average
income
 was the most spent 25
million
pounds
 on
this
 dish.
By
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the same time, the
people
 with high
income
 and the
people
 with low
income
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only spent 15
million
pounds
. For pizza, the
people
 with high
income
 spent about 20
million
pounds
, the
people
 with average
income
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only spent half of the number spent of the
people
 with high
Income
.
Mean
Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
show examples
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
people
 with low
income
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only spent about
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of the number of the
people
 with average
income
.
Submitted by nhungnguyen1209931 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million, pounds, people, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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