IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK in 1990.

The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK in 1990.
The Bargraph below illustrates the expenditure in
million
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pounds
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of pounds
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 on fast food items by tom grap in the UK in 1990 (including
hamberger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
, fish and chips,
pizza
Correct word choice
and pizza
show examples
).
Overall
Linking Words
,
humberger
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hamburger
Schlumberger
 was the most popular
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people
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among people
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 with high
income
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 and
people
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 with average
income
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
, fish and chips
was
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were
show examples
 the most bought
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people
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by people
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 with low
income
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. For the 2 dishes that
was
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were
show examples
 most spent as
humberger
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hamburger
, the
people
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 with high
income
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 spent the most money on
this
Linking Words
 dish with more
45
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than 45
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million
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pounds
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 .Followed by the
people
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 with average
income
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. Spent about 35
million
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pounds
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 on
this
Linking Words
 dish.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
people
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 with low
income
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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only spent 25
million
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ounds
Correct your spelling
pounds
rounds
for
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on
show examples
humberger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
 For fish and chips, the
people
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 with average
income
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 was the most spent 25
million
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pounds
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 on
this
Linking Words
 dish.
By
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At
show examples
 the same time, the
people
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 with high
income
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 and the
people
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 with low
income
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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only spent 15
million
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pounds
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. For pizza, the
people
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 with high
income
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 spent about 20
million
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pounds
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, the
people
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 with average
income
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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only spent half of the number spent of the
people
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 with high
Income
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.
Mean
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Meanwhile
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while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
people
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 with low
income
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only spent about
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of the number of the
people
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 with average
income
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million, pounds, people, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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