IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The bar charts below represent some application patterns by sex and occupation in Great Britain in nineteen-ninety two.

The bar charts below represent some application patterns by sex and occupation in Great Britain in nineteen-ninety two.
The illustrations below
represents
Change the verb form
represent
show examples
 some application patterns by sex and occupation in Great Britain in
nineteen-ninety two
Add a hyphen
nineteen-ninety-two
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 general labourers are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less than managerial and professional by 28%, and for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure is less by thirty-four
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. It is noticeable that other manuals in both
diagram
Change to a plural noun
diagrams
show examples
 are nearly identical to each other by 26-27%, when,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, the indicators of clerical or related in male and female are different, the indicators of
male
Add an article
the male
a male
show examples
 are less in female close to one-fourth. In
this
Linking Words
 year, other non-manual employees in the male accounted for about six
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and
this
Linking Words
 figure for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 is less than that of
Add an article
the female
a female
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 by three
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The manual of general labourers of female employees is
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of about close to
tiny
Add an article
a tiny
show examples
 fraction,
while
Linking Words
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 manual in male employees is noticeably higher by 21%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: