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Writing Samples
Band 6

The two pie charts below illustrate some employment patterns in United Kingdom in 1992.

The two pie charts below illustrate some employment patterns in United Kingdom in 1992.
#two #employment #patterns #kingdom
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The two pie charts below illustrate some employment patterns in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom in 1992.
Large
Change the article
A large
The large
show examples
 number of
women
Use synonyms
 working in clerical and related
fields
Use synonyms
 , but
men
Use synonyms
 work in managerial and professional positions. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 working in managerial and professional
fields
Use synonyms
 is 29 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
men
Use synonyms
 working in the same
fields
Use synonyms
 is 36%. Clerical and related
fields
Use synonyms
 are more common in
women
Use synonyms
 than
men
Use synonyms
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 is
thirty one
Add a hyphen
thirty-one
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
 at six per
cent
Use synonyms
. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of other manuals is almost the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
, it is
twenty seven
Add a hyphen
twenty-seven
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and 26% for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
. The
overall
Linking Words
 lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 is general and labourers
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, fields, men, percentage, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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