IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

The pie charts below demonstrate the result of a survey of children’s activities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#survey #children’s #activities #information #features #comparisons
The pie charts below demonstrate the result of a survey of children’s activities.
Overall
,
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 graph shows that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the
boys
 play computer games,
whereas
 the second graph illustrates that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the
girls
 prefer dancing. The most common activity among
girls
 is dancing, it is 27%,
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
about
boys
Change noun form
boys'
boy's
show examples
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 activity it is computer games with 34 per
cent
.
Boys
 least loved occupation is reading with two per
cent
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
girls
 have
reading
Change the verb form
read
show examples
 in second place with
twenty one
Add a hyphen
twenty-one
show examples
 per
cent
 after dancing.
Girls
 least preferred occupation is listening to music with 10%, the percentage is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as for
boys
. After analyzing two pie charts, it is apparently seen that on
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 chart sports activities like basketball, skateboarding and soccer have an average percentage
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 26
per
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cent
, eleven per
cent
 and 17%. On the second one gymnastics, computer games and netball have an average percentage
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 11%, sixteen per
cent
 and 15 per
cent
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: