IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #time #say #activities
There is a reality that
while
 some
people
 state that
students
 attending full-
time
 universities have spent most of their
time
 studying, others advocate the viewpoint that undergraduates should
also
 take part in a diverse range of activities. From my personal perspective, I partly agree with the notion because they need to fully develop themselves, including both intelligence and soft
skills
. On the one hand, studying full-
time
 at the
university
 becomes an essential requirement for
students
. That seems to be the
last
 opportunity for pupils to apprehend knowledge well before entering the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 market
while
 they are in
university
.
Therefore
, education is the primary goal for young
people
.
Moreover
, they often have a tendency to devote more
time
 to studying to get good results, which helps them get a good job with a high salary in the future. To elucidate,
university
students
 in Vietnam usually maintain good grades in their subjects so that they can complete their studies and graduate as soon as possible.
On the other hand
, undergraduates ought to spend more
time
 on other things, especially soft
skills
. Emotional intelligence has played an important role nowadays since it brings a number of great benefits, including improving
students
' communication and
time
 management.
In addition
,
people
 can fully develop themselves thanks to their soft
skills
, with some essential ones
such
 as
time
 management, teamwork
skills
, or
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
flexibility. To demonstrate,
according to
 some research, most businesses often recruit more
people
 who have soft
skills
 since they help businesses develop well. To sum it up,
students
 should spend more
time
 not only on studying at the
university
 to create a bright future
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 on other activities to develop themselves more comprehensively in both mental and physical health.
Submitted by luongduy30411996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: