In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that it is the government's responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

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The sugar

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Sugar

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and oily products are the real culprits causing overweight and social media for

unhealth

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unhealthy

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Use synonyms

lifestyle

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lifestyles

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among children. In many countries,

public

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the public

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blame

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government

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the government

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for not controlling and

interviening

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intervening

interviewing

the

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in the

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situation. But should the

government

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be responsible for people's own

choice

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choices

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? I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

opinion. In

this

Linking Words

essay

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,essay

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we will discuss the reasons why kid's

being

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are

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overweight and

leading

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lead

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an unhealthy life and actions justifying the

government

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in controlling the situation. First and foremost, one of the reasons is consuming sugary and oily -

the

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apply

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junk food, which leads to

lot

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a lot

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of fatty molecules not

absorbed

Add a missing verb

being absorbed

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by the body,

hence

Linking Words

high fat

Add a hyphen

high-fat

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content. On

the

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apply

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top of that, social media has trapped innocent kids glued to their

mobile

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mobiles

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, stopping any physical activities.

Hence

Linking Words

leading to

unhealthy

Add an article

an unhealthy

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lifestyle

Use synonyms

. It should be

parent's

Correct article usage

the parent's

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responsibility to monitor their kids and educate them

the

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on the

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importance of eating healthy and staying fit.

For instance

Linking Words

, parents should timebox

the

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apply

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time spend on social media and encourage outdoor physical activities.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the

government

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is doing its job by mandating all products to have food composition published on the package.

For example

Linking Words

, the percentage of fat and nutrition any product contains.

Also

Linking Words

, it's

individual

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an individual

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choice to consume what they want.

In addition

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, a lot of parks and cycling tracks are constructed by the city for its people and

special

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a special

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kid-zone

Correct your spelling

kid zone

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for children, encouraging them to enjoy outdoor activities. In conclusion, we have succinctly described the actions taken by

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

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in promoting

healthy

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a healthy

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lifestyle

Use synonyms

and mandating products to have detailed composition distribution mentioned on the package. Nothing more can't be expected

for

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from

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the

government

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and parents should step up to monitor their kids.

Hence

Linking Words

I completely disagree with people's opinion pushing all the blame on the

government

Use synonyms

for overweight and unhealthy

Use synonyms

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

in children.

sameersharma.canadaWed Aug 09 2023

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that it is the government's responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

"Today more and more people want things instanly (eg.: goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?"

Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause? And what are the solution