In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that it is the government's responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility

The sugar

Correct article usage

Sugar

show examples

and oily products are the real culprits causing overweight and social media for

unhealth

Correct your spelling

unhealthy

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

among children. In many countries,

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

blame

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

for not controlling and

interviening

Correct your spelling

intervening

interviewing

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

situation. But should the

government

be responsible for people's own

choice

Fix the agreement mistake

choices

show examples

? I strongly disagree with

this

opinion. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

we will discuss the reasons why kid's

being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

overweight and

leading

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

an unhealthy life and actions justifying the

government

in controlling the situation. First and foremost, one of the reasons is consuming sugary and oily -

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

junk food, which leads to

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of fatty molecules not

absorbed

Add a missing verb

being absorbed

show examples

by the body,

hence

high fat

Add a hyphen

high-fat

show examples

content. On

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

top of that, social media has trapped innocent kids glued to their

mobile

Fix the agreement mistake

mobiles

show examples

, stopping any physical activities.

Hence

leading to

unhealthy

Add an article

an unhealthy

show examples

lifestyle

. It should be

parent's

Correct article usage

the parent's

show examples

responsibility to monitor their kids and educate them

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

importance of eating healthy and staying fit.

For instance

, parents should timebox

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time spend on social media and encourage outdoor physical activities.

Secondly

, the

government

is doing its job by mandating all products to have food composition published on the package.

For example

, the percentage of fat and nutrition any product contains.

Also

, it's

individual

Add an article

an individual

show examples

choice to consume what they want.

In addition

, a lot of parks and cycling tracks are constructed by the city for its people and

special

Correct article usage

a special

show examples

kid-zone

Correct your spelling

kid zone

show examples

for children, encouraging them to enjoy outdoor activities. In conclusion, we have succinctly described the actions taken by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

in promoting

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

and mandating products to have detailed composition distribution mentioned on the package. Nothing more can't be expected

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

the

government

and parents should step up to monitor their kids.

Hence

I completely disagree with people's opinion pushing all the blame on the

government

for overweight and unhealthy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

in children.

Submitted by sameersharma.canada on Wed Aug 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Today, more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?
In the contemporary epoch, numerous people desire that things should be completed immediately without wasting moment. This essay will suggest that the primary reason for this is the busy schedule of individuals. It is a negative development because people are becoming overly impatient.
<4
band
More and more people are using mobile phones and the internet to communicate so people are losing the ability to have face-to-face conversations, to what extent do you agree or disagree?
People do not communicate face-to-face, therefore, there is lack of depth in communication. People only exchange normal greetings via online communication. They do not share their personal feelings and sorrows. So, the bond which needs to be developed between people is not growing. A person has a lot of online friends, however, he actually does not have anyone to share his true feelings. For example, if someone is depressed or suicidal, he cannot not share it online communication with his friends, because he only shares greetings with them.
5.5
band
Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
In the contemporary era, the existence of advertising has crept into many aspects of daily life. From my perspective, this tendency has raised many disruptive concerns relating to the issues of manipulating public opinion and fostering overshopping.
6
band
Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?
Due to state-of-the-art technologies, remote jobs have become prevalent in recent times. Some may argue this offers many advantages just to clerks rather than employers. I strongly disagree with the statement, and in my opinion, that method is beneficial for both sides.
4.5
band
Some people think that sports are important for personal development, while others believe that they are just a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
People often hold varied views about sport's impact on an individual's holistic development both in its favour and opposition. In my opinion, games play a vital role in the growth of people as it helps to maintain the body and one can build a career as well in this field.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that it is the government's responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

Today, more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

More and more people are using mobile phones and the internet to communicate so people are losing the ability to have face-to-face conversations, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that sports are important for personal development, while others believe that they are just a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion