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Writing Samples
Band 4

The intrnet has brought sea change in the way inforamtion is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. what are the most serious problems linked to the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

#intrnet #sea #change #inforamtion #internet
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The internet has brought significant changes in
distribution
Correct article usage
the distribution
show examples
 and utilization way of data, but it has
also
Linking Words
leads
Change the verb form
led
show examples
 to issues that had not
seen
Add a missing verb
been seen
show examples
 in advance.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the problems associated with using technological devices and offer certain remedies which can help
people
Use synonyms
 to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 seeing dangers. To introduce, in a current day
scenario
Add a comma
,scenario
show examples
 the internet has revolutionized our life in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various ways. It is clearly seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who spend lots of time in front of
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
,
exposed
Add a missing verb
are exposed
show examples
 to be obese because of the lack of movement. Especially, children play
video-games
Correct your spelling
video games
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 almost all day.
Moreover
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, it can
leads
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lead
show examples
 to isolation as well.
Although
Linking Words
, social media, as a kind of new technology, supports communication between
people
Use synonyms
 from all over the world,
as well as
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prevents face-to-face communication.
For instance
Linking Words
, based on a recent survey,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of individuals, especially teenagers refuse to communicate with their peers, families and others. To tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these problems,
people
Use synonyms
 should help each other, as it is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 factor to minimize concern.
Firstly
Linking Words
, family members may encourage each other to do sport
instead
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 of spending time with computer technologies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 may organize festivals, events or other kinds of
celebration
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrations
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 which provide humankind with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of community. In a nutshell, overusing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social networking can be harmful
both
Change preposition
to both
show examples
 physical and mental health,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 community can prevent
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 challenges
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 suitable ways.
Submitted by shabnam.aghayeva on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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