More and more people are using the internet to do their tasks rather then doing in person. (e.g. banking, shopping, hotel booking etc. ). Do the advantages of this trend outweighs the disadvantages?

The majority of the masses prefer to use online amenities to accomplish their daily tasks
such
as purchasing new products, accessing their bank accounts, or making advance reservations in restaurants. In
this
, essay I would like to shed light on the pros and cons of
this
development in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, innovations in technology have brought plenty of benefits to the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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of inhabitants in the following ways.
Initially
, online transactions, payments, or bookings through Internet banking have eliminated the cost and
time
involved in travelling,
therefore
, individuals could concentrate on their important work.
Besides
, the internet has made it possible to have access to financial data all
time
Correct article usage
the time
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, in fact, people
could
Wrong verb form
can
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search for the latest provisions from websites at any
time
.
For instance
, customers could conveniently look at Amazon, Flipkart or other applications, whenever, they want to know about the latest offers.
On the other hand
, there are a few drawbacks, which have been faced by operators.
Firstly
, cybercrime is the biggest problem for users as they frequently
found
Wrong verb form
find
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glitches in websites,
hence
, it has developed an immense fear of theft in their minds.
For example
, news often enlist about online fraud
due to
the breakdown of official sites,
consequently
, they have insecurities about their money, even in banks.
Apart from
this
, old and illiterate people could merely operate current technical gadgets, in fact, these become tricky for everyone sometimes. In conclusion, these days, a plethora of dwellers rely on technology to make online payments, it has assisted them to preserve their
time
and money,
also
, it`s easy accessibility.
Whereas
, a poor security system of websites has become a matter of concern and the difficult language of software creates problems during its operation. In my opinion, it has more benefits as demerits could be overcome with improvements in the system.
Submitted by lavisharma622 on

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task response
The essay addresses the task, but the discussion lacks depth and could benefit from providing a more detailed analysis of the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and reasonably developed. However, the essay lacks a clear and coherent organization of ideas throughout the body paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, but improvements could be made in using more precise and contextually appropriate vocabulary to enhance the overall lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay shows varied and generally accurate use of grammatical structures. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and errors in sentence structure that affect coherence.
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