IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The question
if
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 job seekers
shold
Correct your spelling
should
 do voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 is very interesting. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is not fair, but to be honest, I believe it is a good idea for the community and
also
Linking Words
 for
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 who
look
Wrong verb form
is looking
show examples
 for a job.
Firstly
Linking Words
, doing voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 helps
people
Use synonyms
 to stay active. When you are sitting at home for a long
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 you can feel very sad or lazy.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 helps in a local garden or park, they meet new
people
Use synonyms
 and can make friends. It is much
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
better
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 sitting on the sofa and waiting for easy money. Actually, it helps to improve their skills, which is good for their future life.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is important to give something back to society. As for me, if the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 gives you benefits, you should help the community in return. Of course, the voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 should not be very hard
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it must be something that the
person
Use synonyms
 can really do.
For example
Linking Words
, my friend
helping
Verb problem
was helping
show examples
 in a library and he
sayed
Correct your spelling
said
 that it was very funny.
However
Linking Words
,
somepeople
Correct your spelling
some people
 say that it is like a discipline.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think it is an opportunity to learn new things. In fact, many companies
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
show examples
 to hire
people
Use synonyms
 who have some
expirience
Correct your spelling
experience
 in volunteering. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I think that making job seekers do voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 is a positive thing.
Finaly
Correct your spelling
Finally
, it helps the city and the
person
Use synonyms
 too. I hope that more
people
Use synonyms
 will try
this
Linking Words
 idea.

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grammar
Fix small spelling and grammar errors to make your point clear.
structure
Use a clear topic sentence in each paragraph and connect ideas with simple link words like 'and', 'also', 'but', 'so'.
content
Add one or two stronger examples and explain them in short detail.
task response
Give a short view that is opposite, then end with a strong final idea.
stance
The essay shows a clear view on the topic.
structure
Ideas are easy to follow and the plan is clear (intro, 2 body, conclusion).
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Long-term job seekers
  • Government benefits
  • Voluntary work
  • Community service
  • Employability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Mental health
  • Stigma
  • Unemployed
  • Public funds
  • Positively impact
  • Community
  • Exploit
  • Vulnerable individuals
  • Devalue
  • Volunteerism
  • Informal contributions
  • Skill-matching
  • Beneficial and fulfilling
What to do next:
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