IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #television #free-time #people
These days, it has been observed that most
people
 utilize their leisure
time
 on
television
 and screens and
this
 is making most
people
 lethargic and introverted.
This
 essay will agree that
Television
 screens rule over the free
time
 of
people
.
Firstly
 use of
television
 to watch
Netflix
 for long hours has automatically provided folks with a comfort zone;
Secondly
,
inventions
Correct article usage
the inventions
show examples
 of video
games
 curb
people
 from moving out and meeting new
people
. Nowadays,
people
 tend to spend most of their free
time
 watching
Netflix
 series.
This
 behaviour has made them less energetic and they deliberately choose not to go out and make new friends as they are in their comfort zones.
For example
, youngsters spend their summer vacations seeing different
Netflix
 series like money heist, breaking bad and Gotham.
Secondly
, there are a lot of video
games
 and indoor sports invented which can be played by
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 single person staying in one place without being involved with another person. Sitting in front of screens or televisions for too long and playing
games
 can cause obesity and low motivation to meet new
people
.
For instance
, fifa counter
strikes
Capitalize word
Strikes
show examples
 are the most popular
games
 that I have seen my brother playing in his leisure
time
 the whole day. These
games
 have decreased the motivation of individuals to go out and meet new
people
. In conclusion, spending free
time
 on
television
 can cause laziness and no motivation to socialize.
This
 happens
due to
 watching
Netflix
 for long hours
hence
, creating a cosy environment around them; playing video
games
 that can provide one with a lot of entertainment minimising the need of making new friends
Submitted by haleemainam19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: