IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many modern socities grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. what do you think are the consequences of this?

Is
Correct pronoun usage
It is
show examples
 a well-known fact that in present
communities
Punctuation problem
communities,
show examples
 offspring
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 less
time
Use synonyms
 and hardly
consumed
Verb problem
have
show examples
 relationships with their elderly parents. In
this
Linking Words
 Essay, how the communication
break
Correct subject-verb agreement
breaks
show examples
 bounding. Young children face a deficit of valuable information to preserve.
what
Fix capitalization
What
show examples
 are the problems that will be faced with a lack of defending techniques and traditional methods to maintain intact contact from one generation to the next
generations
Fix the agreement mistake
generation
show examples
Firstly
Linking Words
, giving less importance to grandparents may affect the relationship far
away
Rephrase
more than
show examples
 older
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 thought
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 advice
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very sensible to survive in
this
Linking Words
 wicked world. problems are crime, adultery, and earning faster to enjoy and settle with finances without hard work.
For instance
Linking Words
, the peace of words from the elderly mouth would be a constructive and productive,
value-based
Punctuation problem
value-based,
show examples
 informative idea to respect society respective of social status, colour, age, and sex.
what
Fix capitalization
What
show examples
 are words
omit
Wrong verb form
omitted in
show examples
 are
guide book
Use the right word
guidebook
show examples
 to protect from enemies
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Secondly
Linking Words
, the present generation is living in a fancy world by learning from developed
nations
Punctuation problem
nations,
show examples
 where
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
values
Correct subject-verb agreement
value
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
to give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 our ear to aged people.
This
Linking Words
 may lead us in the wrong direction.
Linking Words
apart
Fix capitalization
Apart
show examples
 from
this
Linking Words
, killing our intimacy by physical touch.
However
Linking Words
,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 might be busy with jobs and family responsibilities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, younger ones are spending a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 in discos, pubs, and bars more attention rather than spending
time
Use synonyms
 with loved ones.
Finally
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 conclusion, the gap between family and son
distance
Correct subject-verb agreement
distances
show examples
 themself,
this
Linking Words
 may have us harmful effect on society,
Because
Fix capitalization
because
show examples
 of the lack of advice from grandparents. "
prevention
Fix capitalization
Prevention
show examples
 is better than cure" inasmuch
when
Change preposition
as when
show examples
 young people
are grown
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 there is nothing to share with
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 son and niece, in future to come. I recommend
very
Correct word choice
that very
show examples
 young citizens spend
time
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
again on profound knowledge to stable our community.

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structure
Make a plan before writing. Say what you will discuss at the start and end with a clear ending.
organization
Put one main idea in each paragraph. Do not mix ideas in one paragraph.
cohesion
Use linking words to show order and connect ideas, e.g., firstly, secondly, finally, and 'for example' when you give a point.
grammar
Use simple grammar and form; check verbs and noun form.
content
Give clear examples from family life. Do not rely on broad claims about crime or other issues.
idea
The essay tries to argue that less time with grandparents can affect society.
structure
There is some use of numbered points (Firstly, Secondly, Finally) which shows plan.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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