IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

IT
Correct your spelling
It
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 is argued that presently
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
Use synonyms
 standard is becoming worsening. Some of the individuals argue that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 their
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 fault.
Whereas
Linking Words
 another section of society believes that
schools
Use synonyms
 should be blamed for that.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
both
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 views and present my opinion. To
make
Wrong verb form
Making
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 sure that
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
Use synonyms
 should not be worsened
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
duty
Add an article
the duty
a duty
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 of
parents
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 and
schools
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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both
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.
To begin
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 with,
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 first teacher are their
parents
Use synonyms
 .
parents
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 teach how to behave and form habits based on their
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parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 instructions. If
parents
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 are not able to control their
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
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then
Linking Words
 in
schools
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 they show emotions like resentfulness, rage and anger. School
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 try to discipline them by giving harsh punishment to them.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 in Singapore have to face severe punishment if they demonstrate poor
behaviour
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 in public.
However
Linking Words
,
children
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 must behave properly. to ensure that
schools
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 are
also
Linking Words
 responsible for inculcating
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 values in
children
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 . Qualities like respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 elders,
kindness
Correct word choice
and kindness
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 should be inculcated to them . school teachers must demonstrate disciplinary
behaviour
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 to correct
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
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.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
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 are responsible for teaching ethics and moral values to
children
Use synonyms
 . To cite an example,
schools
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 in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 have included subjects like moral science and ethics in their pedagogy. In conclusion,
Parents
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 and teachers
both
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 are responsible for teaching good
behaviour
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 to
children
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 standard of
behaviour
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 is linked to
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 upbringing. If
children
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 are taught properly about
behaviour
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 . standard of
behaviour
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 will improve in
children
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.
Children
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 are like clay and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can
shaped
Change the verb form
be shaped
shape
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 in any design if we want. So it is important to teach them
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 values and their
behaviour
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 will improve as a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
 of that. It is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 responsibility of
parents
Use synonyms
 and teachers
both
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 .

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary influencers
  • mimic actions
  • instilling discipline
  • overindulge
  • set boundaries
  • broken homes
  • emotional support
  • shaping behavior
  • substantial amount of time
  • large class sizes
  • code of conduct
  • discipline policy
  • environmental factors
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
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