IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#say #behaviour #children #parents #fault #schools
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IT
Correct your spelling
It
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 is argued that presently
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children
Change noun form
children's
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behaviour
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 standard is becoming worsening. Some of the individuals argue that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 their
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parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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 fault.
Whereas
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 another section of society believes that
schools
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 should be blamed for that.
This
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 essay will discuss
both
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 views and present my opinion. To
make
Wrong verb form
Making
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 sure that
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children
Change noun form
children's
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behaviour
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 should not be worsened
it
Correct your spelling
is
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duty
Add an article
the duty
a duty
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 of
parents
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 and
schools
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Correct pronoun usage
apply
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both
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.
To begin
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 with,
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children
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children's
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 first teacher are their
parents
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 .
parents
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 teach how to behave and form habits based on their
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parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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 instructions. If
parents
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 are not able to control their
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
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then
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 in
schools
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 they show emotions like resentfulness, rage and anger. School
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 try to discipline them by giving harsh punishment to them.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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children
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 in Singapore have to face severe punishment if they demonstrate poor
behaviour
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 in public.
However
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,
children
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 must behave properly. to ensure that
schools
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 are
also
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 responsible for inculcating
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 values in
children
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 . Qualities like respect
to
Change preposition
for
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 elders,
kindness
Correct word choice
and kindness
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 should be inculcated to them . school teachers must demonstrate disciplinary
behaviour
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 to correct
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children
Change noun form
children's
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behaviour
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.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
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 are responsible for teaching ethics and moral values to
children
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 . To cite an example,
schools
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 in
india
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India
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 have included subjects like moral science and ethics in their pedagogy. In conclusion,
Parents
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 and teachers
both
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 are responsible for teaching good
behaviour
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 to
children
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 standard of
behaviour
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 is linked to
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children
Change noun form
children's
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 upbringing. If
children
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 are taught properly about
behaviour
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 . standard of
behaviour
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 will improve in
children
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.
Children
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 are like clay and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can
shaped
Change the verb form
be shaped
shape
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 in any design if we want. So it is important to teach them
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 values and their
behaviour
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 will improve as a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
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 of that. It is
an
Correct article usage
the
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 responsibility of
parents
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 and teachers
both
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 .
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary influencers
  • mimic actions
  • instilling discipline
  • overindulge
  • set boundaries
  • broken homes
  • emotional support
  • shaping behavior
  • substantial amount of time
  • large class sizes
  • code of conduct
  • discipline policy
  • environmental factors
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
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