IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#say #behaviour #children #parents #fault #schools
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IT
Correct your spelling
It
show examples
 is argued that presently
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
 standard is becoming worsening. Some of the individuals argue that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 fault.
Whereas
 another section of society believes that
schools
 should be blamed for that.
This
 essay will discuss
both
 views and present my opinion. To
make
Wrong verb form
Making
show examples
 sure that
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
 should not be worsened
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
duty
Add an article
the duty
a duty
show examples
 of
parents
 and
schools
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
both
.
To begin
 with,
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 first teacher are their
parents
 .
parents
 teach how to behave and form habits based on their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 instructions. If
parents
 are not able to control their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
then
 in
schools
 they show emotions like resentfulness, rage and anger. School
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 try to discipline them by giving harsh punishment to them.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
children
 in Singapore have to face severe punishment if they demonstrate poor
behaviour
 in public.
However
,
children
 must behave properly. to ensure that
schools
 are
also
 responsible for inculcating
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 values in
children
 . Qualities like respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 elders,
kindness
Correct word choice
and kindness
show examples
 should be inculcated to them . school teachers must demonstrate disciplinary
behaviour
 to correct
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
 are responsible for teaching ethics and moral values to
children
 . To cite an example,
schools
 in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 have included subjects like moral science and ethics in their pedagogy. In conclusion,
Parents
 and teachers
both
 are responsible for teaching good
behaviour
 to
children
 standard of
behaviour
 is linked to
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 upbringing. If
children
 are taught properly about
behaviour
 . standard of
behaviour
 will improve in
children
.
Children
 are like clay and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can
shaped
Change the verb form
be shaped
shape
show examples
 in any design if we want. So it is important to teach them
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 values and their
behaviour
 will improve as a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
 of that. It is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 responsibility of
parents
 and teachers
both
 .
Submitted by yash334 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary influencers
  • mimic actions
  • instilling discipline
  • overindulge
  • set boundaries
  • broken homes
  • emotional support
  • shaping behavior
  • substantial amount of time
  • large class sizes
  • code of conduct
  • discipline policy
  • environmental factors
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
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