IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparison where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparison
The bar chart shows data about how families spent their weekly
income
 in 1968 and 2018 in a nation.
Overall
, in 1968 they spent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
food
 and they only spend a
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
income
Change to a plural noun
incomes
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fuel and power. Meanwhile, in 2018 many people spend a lot of money for leisure and a little for
personals
Change the noun form
personal
show examples
 goods. A deep analysis of the bar chart provided reveals the percentage of spending on
food
 in 1968 is highest
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 35%.
In contrast
, they don't use a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 money for fuel and power with only around 7% of
weekly
Correct pronoun usage
their weekly
show examples
income
. The percentage of spending on
food
 doubled between 1968 and 2018. It is
notice able
Correct your spelling
noticeable
show examples
 that
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 2018 people spent the most
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 weekly
income
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 leisure
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 24% and
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 4%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 personal goods and fuel power similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 in 1968. The percentage of spending on
food
slightly
Add a missing verb
is slightly
show examples
 over
around
Change preposition
apply
show examples
6% more than
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

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