The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate local produced food. What extend does the advantage outweigh disadvantage?

Some believe that importing
food
from other countries'
farms
would be not good for our environment and
economy
. These people prefer to export
food
from their local
farms
. I strongly agree that consuming
food
locally is more beneficial than importing it.  One of the drawbacks of obtaining
food
from outside the
country
is the financial costs. Travelling for
food
can lead the government to allocate money for
this
matter, which will not serve the nation's
economy
.
For example
, the
country
's government needs to spend money on transportation for travelling to get
food
, and they will spend on purchasing them.
However
,
this
issue can be solved if the other nations provide their cooperation for transporting costs.
On the other hand
, one notable benefit of producing
food
locally is that it will boost the
economy
.To illustrate
this
point,
food
production may enhance the nation's revenue by importing produced
food
to other nations.
For instance
, if the local
farms
in the
country
produced
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
food
such
as wheat or dairy products, the other nations may ultimately buy them, and as a ,result the
country
's
economy
is increased.
Moreover
, another advantage of obtaining local
food
is to reduce fossil fuel emissions which will help the environment.
This
is because producing local
food
means establishing more
farms
, and
therefore
fewer industries. Factories emissions are the main reason behind the environmental destruction.
Thus
, the government should encourage to
establish
Replace the word
establishment
show examples
farms
Change preposition
of farms
show examples
in order to not be an industrial
country
. In conclusion, I am in full agreement that producing local
farms
outweighs importing
food
.
This
is
due to
improving the
economy
and the reduction of fossil fuel emissions
while
importing
food
will not accommodate our
economy
's budget.
Submitted by almousa1994 on

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task response
Address all parts of the task more thoroughly. Although you've presented some strong arguments, explore the other side of the argument more comprehensively for a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical progression of your argument. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next and maintain a consistent line of reasoning.
task response
Provide more specific examples to bolster your claims and make your arguments more convincing. Examples can clarify points and offer greater insight.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly outline your stance and summarize your arguments effectively, which showcases clarity in your response.
task response
You demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic by presenting relevant arguments for why locally produced food is beneficial.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • carbon footprint
  • locally sourced
  • sustainable farming
  • food miles
  • supply chain
  • economic resilience
  • nutritional value
  • cultural diversity
  • food security
  • seasonality
  • imported goods
  • environmental impact
  • local economy
  • fresh produce
  • agricultural diversity
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