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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table gives information about persentage of national consumer expending by categories in five different countries in 2002.

The table gives information about persentage of national consumer expending by categories in five different countries in 2002.
The table gives information about
Correct article usage
the persentage
show examples
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of national
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
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expending
Correct your spelling
expanding
show examples
 by categories in five different countries in 2002. As can be seen from the table,there are
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 like food,clothing,education and others.In 2002,in every
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
 there are various per sent to
this
Linking Words
 options.For
sample
Correct article usage
the sample
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 significantly more consumer spending on food,
drinks
Correct word choice
and drinks
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 in Turkey which is 32.14% than in Sweden
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 15.77%. It is worth noting that even if Turkey has the highest per
sent
Correct your spelling
cent
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 food,in other countries
this
Linking Words
 figure is
also
Linking Words
 high,
for example
Linking Words
, in
Italy
Add a comma
,Italy
show examples
 it is 28.91%.
Another
Correct quantifier usage
Other
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 countries has
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 own
greate
Correct your spelling
great
greater
 number
in
Change preposition
of
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 other variant.
For instance
Linking Words
 in
clothing
Correct article usage
the clothing
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 and footwear category Italy has the highest per
sent
Correct your spelling
cent
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(9.00%),
nevertheless
Linking Words
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 costs are in Sweden which is 5.40%. There is
also
Linking Words
 another option is education and leisure.In
this
Linking Words
 version, the highest figure belongs to Turkey, which is 4.35% and the lowest number concern
to
Change preposition
apply
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Spain ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is 1.98%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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