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Band 5.5

Parents are the best teachers. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #teachers
Parents
 are the mirror of adolescents to imitate.
Therefore
,
Parents
 are effective tutors for their babies. I entirely support
this
 assertion. Without a doubt, mom and dad are essential for
kids
 to grow properly. Foremost,
kids
 are prone to admire their
parents
 since they stay most of the time together until they live separately. In connection with
this
, teens obtain characteristics through their
parents
as well as
 abilities. Specifically, mom and dad teach their infants how to speak politely and how to communicate with others harmoniously
not to mention
 how to do when it comes to struggles.
In addition
, they can guide their
kids
 to be better whenever young
people
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 several mistakes. It's because they believe and agree with their tutor's advice.
Additionally
, if old
people
 have good behaviour and mindset, it would be beneficial to young
people
. Precisely, youngsters are into olders to become same as them. To be more detailed, they are willing to study and participate in several volunteer works to make a harmonious society. Aside from that, not only teaching about personalities but
also
 adults can educate their teenager's social skills. Primarily, as
kids
 have a huge amount of curiosity, they try to do anything that their
parents
 do
such
 as cleaning the house and fixing things. Specifically, it supports them to possess ordinary skills to survive the fast-paced and technological era where we are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In a nutshell,
although
 there may be concerns that old
people
 can not be excellent teachers, I personally contend that they are the ones who can be a leader to lead them properly.
Submitted by kigj95 on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack depth and clarity. Try to provide a compelling introduction and a strong conclusion that summarize the main points of your argument. Also, your examples are relevant but they lack a clear connection to the main argument. Make sure to provide specific and detailed examples that strongly support your main points.
task achievement
You have responded to the task, but your response lacks completeness and your ideas should be more comprehensive. Make sure to address all the aspects of the prompt and provide a clear and detailed argument. Revise and expand your points to ensure a complete response that covers all relevant aspects of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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