IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

How could we encourage people to visit museums more?

#people #visit #museums
Nowadays there is a number of
people
 who prefer not to go to historical locations for different reasons.
Therefore
, it may happen
due to
 the fact that
people
 are not interested in their own culture. Another cause could be the fact that those who are curious have the opportunity not to waste money on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 and visiting cultural and historical institutions when they have access to all
this
Change the determiner
these
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 facilities through
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
This
 essay will focus on several solutions to increase museum attendance among
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
.
Firstly
, local authorities and managers of
museums
 should think of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way to attract
audience
Add an article
an audience
the audience
show examples
 in order to
insure
Correct your spelling
ensure
show examples
 the flow of visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 cultural premises.
People
 tend to show interest only in case if they are attracted by
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 benefits . Luckily, nowadays, there are a variety of possibilities and tools to engage
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
.
For example
, a good way to captivate guests is to organise events
such
 as workshops.
Therefore
, visitors will be given free attendance vouchers.
Also
,
while
 attending the workshop participants will have the opportunity to see the exhibited artefacts and to discuss with an expert about all the interested information.
Secondly
,another issue to consider is the accessibility to
museums
 and
gallery’s
Correct article usage
the gallery’s
show examples
 description of exposed artworks . Website viewers find it more attractive to search the webpages
due to
 the fact that it is cheaper and at the same time sufficiently informative. Perhaps, a good solution to stimulate
people
 to visit
museums
 and galleries is to charge a fee to be able to find out more about the
exponate
Correct your spelling
exponent
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 depending on the type of information which is searched for, the prices will be
build
Wrong verb form
built
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 up to make use of it. Consistently,
whose
Correct your spelling
those
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 who want to learn more about these historical objects will think twice before they decide how to acquire the same knowledge for the same money. In conclusion,
museums
 are built in order to retain
available
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the available
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 source of information which belongs to history, culture and art.
Therefore
, any solutions must be tried to
mentain
Correct your spelling
maintain
this
 form of entertainment.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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