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Band 3.5

Some people believe that no one should do the same job for all their working life. Others argue that doing the same job brings advantages for individuals, companies, and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #life #individuals #companies #society
Nowadays, some people argue that
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
job
 for life
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 lots of benefits for
employers
. Others believe that keep changing work have more beneficial for individuals. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I think it is better to stay at
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 as it
is bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of benefits. On one hand,
employers
 who stay at
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
job
 gain several benefits as the salaries increase
along with
 their developments in
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
 ladder.
In addition
. If workers stay in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
job
, they will be more trained and more responsible.
For example
, doctors who work in
uk
Correct your spelling
UK
 begin with small salaries and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 skills but after 15 years they will be
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
 in their field and
gey
Correct your spelling
get
show examples
 high wages.
Secondly
, people who work for same
job
 the get pensions and health insurance. On other the hand,
employers
 who keep changing their
job
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
find it more challenging and
wasting
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 time.
However
,
due to
 fast-base
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 some
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
find it more beneficial to change
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 as they gained new skills which may help them in future .
Moreover
, some companies give their
employers
 high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 and
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
show examples
 which is motivated
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
workers to change the company In conclusion, the advantages of keeping
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 for life
are outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the drawbacks. As
employers
 get high skills and high salaries.
Submitted by aloye.ahmed92 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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