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Writing Samples /
Band 5

many countries spend too much money on training of a few individuals for international sports competition. Some people believe that government should spend more in ordinary people instead. Do you agree r disagree? give your opinion and example

#countries #money #individuals #sports #competition #people #government #r
Many nations are spending
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of money on some
people
 for international sports
competiton
Correct your spelling
competition
 training. A segment of
people
 think that government should spend money on ordinary
people
inplace
Correct your spelling
in place
. I agree that they should train the
person
 who is
financal
Correct your spelling
financially
financial
 weak and
secondly
, give
the
Correct pronoun usage
them the
show examples
 opportunity to participate in international sports
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
. on the one hand, it is one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to help the
person
 who
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to become a good
sportperson
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
sport person
 because it is helpful for a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
person
 to work on his or her abilities and
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fame for the country.
For example
, if he
is belong
Change the verb form
belongs
show examples
 to a poor family
however
 his family is not able to afford it but
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to give facilities
such
 as giving
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, shoes etc.
Therefore
, it is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
essential to give more help to a new
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
person
 to participate
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it.
on the other hand
, it will help
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a normal
person
 to become a
sportperson
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
sport person
 by showing his talent in
Correct article usage
the olympic
show examples
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
 games to achieve success .
Moreover
, he will get a good
job
 as
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is
quote
Add an article
a quote
the quote
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 department to get the
job
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of their game.
Hence
, there is training
help
Fix the infinitive
to help
show examples
 to get the
job
.
To sum up
, the government help the international
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
person
 who is not able to get the facilities to achieve the
job
 .
Therefore
, it is important to give the
sport
 to the
people
 who are not rich and not able to achieve the goal.
Submitted by gs9542529 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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