IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, girls and boys are studied in different schools rather than in the same schools. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of this.

#countries #girls #boys #schools
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays many nations are imposing new
education
Use synonyms
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
 in separate
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and
classes
Use synonyms
 for male and female attendees.
Whereas
Linking Words
 it seems to me that there will be more advantages than demerits. for
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 the
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
 will examine both of the
prospect
Change to a plural noun
prospects
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. Several schools around the globe would offer
gender
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 determining various prospective
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teaching methods
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 boys and girls
students
Use synonyms
.
however
Linking Words
, contraction could be the main focus point of
this
Linking Words
 argument because
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will face less distraction around
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
similar
gender
Use synonyms
 of peoples.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, there will be
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 chances of
gender
Use synonyms
 discrimination in uncertain fights between
students
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
show examples
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 should be determined an important role to contribute. It is pretty reasonable for both males and
females
Change the noun form
female
show examples
 attendees for studying in different
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, some topic would have to undermine in regular
classes
Use synonyms
 where all student has been studying together but
separate
Change preposition
in separate
show examples
classes
Use synonyms
 and
professionalism
Replace the word
professional
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teachers would be more comfortable
to explain
Change the verb form
explaining
show examples
 these topics individually to
students
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there will be
dishonest
Replace the word
dishonesty
show examples
 for teaching methods and
gender
Use synonyms
 equality. It could become
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 concern in providing
education
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 might face less interaction
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
classes
Use synonyms
 which could affect social communication development in them.
Education
Use synonyms
 will become expensive to provide
general
Change preposition
in general
show examples
 schools where
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 have to put reliance on a separate skill set like different interactive
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 for every
studen
Correct your spelling
student
.
In addition
Linking Words
, many would still prefer regular schooling surrounding
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
girls and boys in the same class and it should be
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 point to gain knowledge from both prospective
but
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 individual. The school for every sex will encourage racism and discrimination concerns.
To conclude
Linking Words
, every person has
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 viewpoint about where they could fill themselves comfort table whether it's in boys only school, our girls only all advantageous
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 would easily outweigh its disadvantages.
Submitted by user349953 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: