IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The charts below prresent information about electricity generated using renewable and non-renewable energy in the United States in 2009 and 2019. Summries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevant.

#prresent #information #electricity #non-renewable #energy #states #summries #features #comparions
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The bar graphs illustrate
electricity
Use synonyms
 produced by renewable and non-renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 in the United States in 2009 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
 , coal and natural gas
were generate
Change the verb form
generated
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
energy
Use synonyms
 by using non-renewable in 2009 and 2019 respectively.
However
Linking Words
 , renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 sources
such
Linking Words
 as hydroelectric and wind
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
produce more
electricity
Use synonyms
 as compared to other sources .
To begin
Linking Words
 with , petroleum produced only 57
billion
Use synonyms
kilowatt
Change to a plural noun
kilowatts
show examples
 per hour in 2009 .
Whereas
Linking Words
 , renewable
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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, nuclear and natural gas
generate
Wrong verb form
generated
show examples
 more than 400
billion
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 kilowatts of
electricity
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 in 2009 .
On the contrary
Linking Words
 , coal
stand
Change the verb form
stands
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first position to generate
electricity
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 with 1756
billion
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
killo
Correct your spelling
kilo
kills
killed
watt
Use synonyms
 per
hours
Fix the agreement mistake
hour
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 , in 2019 natural gas produced higher
electricity
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 as compared to other sources . Petroleum produced only 40
billion
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
killo
Correct your spelling
kilo
kills
killed
Use synonyms
watt
Change to a plural noun
watts
show examples
 per every
hours
Change to a singular noun
hour
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
renewable energies
such
Linking Words
solar
Change preposition
as solar
show examples
 wind , geothermal, plant/animal matter and hydroelectric
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower
electricity
Use synonyms
 as compared to
non renewable
Add a hyphen
non-renewable
show examples
ernegies
Correct your spelling
energies
. Wind produced 94
billion
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
killo
Correct your spelling
kilo
kills
killed
 watts in 2009
while
Linking Words
 in 2019 it reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
300 . Geothermal
energy
Use synonyms
genrate
Correct your spelling
generate
generates
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 the 16
billion
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 killon
watt
Use synonyms
 in both years . In 2009 , Solar
energy
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 contained only 1
billlion
Correct your spelling
billion billion
killo
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 watts per
hours
Fix the agreement mistake
hour
show examples
 which increased
almost
Change preposition
to almost
show examples
 72
billion
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 after 10 years .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , plant/ animal matter 9 (54 and 58
billion
Use synonyms
 kw) and hydroelectric
energy
Use synonyms
 (273
billion
Use synonyms
 kw )
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to almost similar
Use synonyms
killo
Correct your spelling
kilo
Use synonyms
watt
Fix the agreement mistake
watts
show examples
 in both years.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The body paragraphs are not well-structured, leading to a low logical structure score.
Task Achievement
The response does not fully address the task. There is a lack of clear and comprehensive ideas, and the relevant specific examples are not well-presented.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary and word choice could be improved to enhance the essay's clarity and precision. Use more varied and appropriate vocabulary to better convey the ideas.
Grammatical Range
There are frequent grammatical errors, including verb tense confusion, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper word usage. Work on improving sentence structure and grammar accuracy for a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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