many countries spend too much money on training of a few individuals for international sports competition. Some people believe that government should spend more in ordinary people instead. Do you agree r disagree? give your opinion and example

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It is irrefutable that spending money on different people has its benefits. Government treasure should be spent on valuable things rather than wasted on unusable things. I
agreed
Wrong verb form
agree
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that authority should use his major part of the treasures on the sports training. Analysing the benefits of the training, it is good for the development of the economic level and
also
brings prosperity to the nation.
Firstly
, the regime uses a few portions of the money on the athletes' training to build up the socio-economic level of the country.
For instance
, in 2016, the Indian cricket team was well-played in England and got % million in cash
as well as
achieved a gold medal. Happily, these moments bring changes in the nation's economic state.
Therefore
,
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
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needs to focus on hiring well-trained instructors or coaches to boost the surface of the sportsmen so that they can do their best in the playground which is beneficial for boosting the base of the provincial.
Secondly
, it is comprehended that utilizing funds to support the international athlete programme is valuable for the prosperity of the state.
For example
, when a team play well at the worldwide level, definitely it will bring success in the province and surely, find headlines in the newspaper about the memorable moments of our country's achievement.
This
thing is only possible when the government emphasizes the coaching session for getting improvement in the players.
Thus
, political parties must
be taken
Wrong verb form
take
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a few steps forward, by
this
they will get cooperation from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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which will help in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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difficult
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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. In conclusion, government income plays an imperative role to boost the economic base and bring happiness to the nation.
Hence
,
it is clear that
the idea of using a considerable amount of money on training can not be overwhelming. After a thorough analysis of these paragraphs, it is predicted that the benefits are more of
this
because it makes the future better.
Submitted by kamalveerkaur26 on

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Task Response
The essay does not fully address the prompt and lacks a clear position on whether the government should spend more on ordinary people or on sports training. The response is unclear and lacks depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the introduction and conclusion are not effectively presented. The essay lacks coherence and cohesion, and the ideas are not connected well throughout the essay. Use of transitional words and phrases can improve the organization of the essay.
Lexical Resource
The lexical resource is limited, and there are many inaccuracies in vocabulary and word choices. Use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure that the words are used accurately to convey the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and lacks variety in sentence structures. Punctuation, tense consistency, and subject-verb agreement need improvement to enhance grammatical range.
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