IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to buy drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and use of hard drugs should be applied to all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?

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Most countries around the world have strict regulations against the use of
drugs
Use synonyms
 like cocaine and heroin.
However
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, the purchase of
tobacco
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 and
alcohol
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 merits no restrictions and so
people
Use synonyms
 have easy access to them with no limitations. These days, some
people
Use synonyms
 demand a uniform law to include even
alcohol
Use synonyms
 and all
tobacco
Use synonyms
 product sale under prohibition. I do completely agree with
this
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 belief and will give my supportive points for the same in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, why
tobacco
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 and
alcohol
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 should be included in the government's illegal drug categories like cocaine and heroin
due to
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 significant health issues resulting from the consumption of these poisons
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 There are numerous cases of oral and lung cancers diagnosed every day in a hospital
due to
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 smoking and
tobacco
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 chewing.
Moreover
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, trauma injuries resulting
due to
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alcohol
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 drinking are continuously rising despite a police watch.
For example
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, recently research from an emergency department of an Indian government hospital reported 1 every 100 patients suffered
due to
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 these
drugs
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.
Furthermore
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, addiction to any kind of mind-altering substance seriously affects young
people
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's creativity and ability to work. These youngsters are considered the future of any nation, and usage of any
such
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drugs
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 affects their working and indirectly affects the economy, not alone at a personal level, but their nation's growth and economy too.
Next,
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some folk make their businesses by illegally trading
such
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 products and
hence
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 promote a system of criminal activities. Many
such
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people
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 do international smuggling of hard
drugs
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as well as
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alcohol
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 and crime rates are rising continuously. In conclusion,
due to
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 the aforementioned reasons, I completely agree with the given statement and authorities should apply laws to stop the sale of all kinds of brain-modulating
drugs
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 including
tobacco
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 and
alcohol
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Chronic diseases
  • Substance abuse
  • Psychological dependency
  • Social stigma
  • Preventive measures
  • Legislative framework
  • Healthcare expenditure
  • Judicial system
  • Prohibition era
  • Civil liberties
  • Tax revenues
  • Harm reduction
  • Ethical considerations
  • Public health policy
  • Addiction treatment
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