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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2006 to the present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparasions where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2006 to the present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparasions where relevant.
#library #books #boys #girls #starmouth #school #summarise #information #features #comparasions
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The presented graph illustrates the differences
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 that the students at Starmouth School have read in the library
until
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2006 to now. As can be seen in the graph, the figure of library
books
Use synonyms
 read by
girls
Use synonyms
 is higher than
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
Use synonyms
boys
Change preposition
by boys
show examples
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 in 2009
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
male students
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
read a lot of
books
Use synonyms
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
female ones
about
Change preposition
by
show examples
 more than 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In the next year, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
 still increased from 50
books
Use synonyms
 in 2009 to 80
books
Use synonyms
 in 2010 and the quantity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
 slightly rose
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 only 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time. From 2010 to 2011, people can see
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
show examples
 change
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
girls
Use synonyms
, they just have had only 40
books
Use synonyms
 in 2010, but in 2011 they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
read 100
books
Use synonyms
 which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the same
number
Use synonyms
 as the
boys
Use synonyms
. After that, the
girls
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached their tops with 140
books
Use synonyms
 that they have read but at that time, the boy students significantly declined from 100 to 80
books
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the individuals can realize that
although
Linking Words
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first time the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 read by
boys
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 than the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
gradually,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
 tend to read
books
Use synonyms
 more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by vuhien4397 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, books, girls, boys with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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