IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in the last 3 years, between 3 to 5 years or not within the last 5years.

The chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in the last 3 years, between 3 to 5 years or not within the last 5years.
The given bar chart provides information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
’s movements to the
house
Use synonyms
 in three different
years
Use synonyms
. By and large,the movement of
people
Use synonyms
 who don’t move
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
 is the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
.Unlike moving to
house
Use synonyms
 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago depicts the highest figure all over the ages of
people
Use synonyms
. It is obviously seen that
people
Use synonyms
 who are around 20 to 29
years
Use synonyms
 old moved
house
Use synonyms
 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago demonstrate 45 % which distinguished only 1% with 30 to 39
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago,
people
Use synonyms
 who are in 40 to 49
age
Use synonyms
 moved dramatically to 55% .Likely, older
people
Use synonyms
 above 50
age
Use synonyms
 moved
house
Use synonyms
 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago and did not move in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
 display respectively equal figures 41% and 42%.
Additionally
Linking Words
,the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of not moved
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
 is lower in all different
age
Use synonyms
 groups.From 20 to 39
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
 did not move to a
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
remain the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 that was 22%
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who are older from 39 to 49
age
Use synonyms
 was 14%.
Besides
Linking Words
,moving
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 3
years
Use synonyms
 differentiates unnoticeably that was 33% and 34 % among
people
Use synonyms
 who are under 29 and 39 ages.So,
people
Use synonyms
 who are 40 to 49
years
Use synonyms
 old consist of 31% and 50
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
 made 17% in the
last
Linking Words
 3
years
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, house, years, people, age with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 7 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: