The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spend chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK. ...

The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spend chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK. ...
This
bar chart illustrates the total
time
of
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apply
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10 to
15 year
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15-year
show examples
children are spending on
internet
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the internet
show examples
chating
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chatting
and playing
on
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apply
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games
during their regular school days within the UK.
Overall
,
boys
are spending most of
the
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their
show examples
time
in
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playing
games
but
girls
are spending more
time
on
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apply
show examples
chating
Correct your spelling
chatting
on
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the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. Spending
time
less than an hour in a day is quite similar in both
the
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apply
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activities. On the one hand, internet
chating
Correct your spelling
chatting
for less than an hour is quite
same
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the same
show examples
in all
group
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groups
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of
boys
,
girls
and rest all
that is
around 20
percentage
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per cent
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. On
an
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apply
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average
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,average
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the
girls
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number of girls
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are spending 1-3 hours is higher
in
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than
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the
boys
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number of boys
show examples
spend
Correct pronoun usage
who spend
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the same
time
is 30% to 35 % respectively, followed by others at around 28%.
However
, almost 9%
girls
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of girls
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are spending more than 4hrs in a day but
remaining
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the remaining
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people and
boys
are spending less respectively in
this
category.
On the other hand
,
boys
are utilizing most of the
time
on
games
which
was
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were
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around 42% but
girls
are not engaging themselves in
this
activit
Correct your spelling
activity
as it was approximately 12%,
however
,
remaining
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the remaining
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category comes on second in playing
game
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games
show examples
. Even,
ratio
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the ratio
show examples
on
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of
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investing more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
4hrs in
day
Add an article
a day
the day
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is
also
quite higher for
boys
compared with
girls
and other people.
On
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In
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contrast
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the contrast
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,
ratio
Add an article
the ratio
show examples
on
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of
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spending less than an
hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
hour
show examples
on
games
is comparatively higher than
boys
and all.
Submitted by kintans54 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, games, boys, girls with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescents
  • chatting online
  • games consoles
  • average school day
  • time allocation
  • social interaction
  • gaming habits
  • internet usage
  • preference
  • daily patterns
  • peak times
  • weekdays
  • weekends
  • gender differences
  • trends
  • implications
  • social skills
  • physical health
  • academic performance
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