The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spend chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK. ...
This
bar chart illustrates the total time
of
10 to Change preposition
apply
15 year
children are spending on Add a hyphen
15-year
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
chating
and playing Correct your spelling
chatting
on
Change preposition
apply
games
during their regular school days within the UK.
Overall
, boys
are spending most of the
Change the word
their
time
in
playing Change preposition
apply
games
but girls
are spending more time
on
Change preposition
apply
chating
on Correct your spelling
chatting
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
. Spending Capitalize word
Internet
time
less than an hour in a day is quite similar in both the
activities.
On the one hand, internet Correct article usage
apply
chating
for less than an hour is quite Correct your spelling
chatting
same
in all Correct article usage
the same
group
of Fix the agreement mistake
groups
boys
, girls
and rest all that is
around 20 percentage
. On Replace the word
per cent
an
Correct article usage
apply
average
the Add a comma
,average
girls
are spending 1-3 hours is higher Correct quantifier usage
number of girls
in
the Change preposition
than
boys
Correct quantifier usage
number of boys
spend
the same Correct pronoun usage
who spend
time
is 30% to 35 % respectively, followed by others at around 28%. However
, almost 9% girls
are spending more than 4hrs in a day but Change preposition
of girls
remaining
people and Correct article usage
the remaining
boys
are spending less respectively in this
category.
On the other hand
, boys
are utilizing most of the time
on games
which was
around 42% but Change the verb form
were
girls
are not engaging themselves in this
activit
as it was approximately 12%, Correct your spelling
activity
however
, remaining
category comes on second in playing Correct article usage
the remaining
game
. Even, Fix the agreement mistake
games
ratio
Add an article
the ratio
on
investing more Change preposition
of
then
4hrs in Replace the word
than
day
is Add an article
a day
the day
also
quite higher for boys
compared with girls
and other people. On
Change preposition
In
contrast
, Add an article
the contrast
ratio
Add an article
the ratio
on
spending less than an Change preposition
of
hours
on Correct the article-noun agreement
hour
games
is comparatively higher than boys
and all.Submitted by kintans54 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, games, boys, girls with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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