IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The chart below show Australia dollar in Australia’s trade in three nations from 2004 to 2009 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below show Australia dollar in Australia’s trade in three nations from 2004 to 2009 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #australia #dollar #australia’s #trade #three #nations #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The graphs below show the
value
 of Australian trading with
China
,
Japan
 and the United States. (
Value
 is estimated in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
Change the capitalization
Australian
show examples
australian
Change the capitalization
Australian
show examples
dollars
 –
billions
) The line graphs illustrate the
value
 of
Australia
 which
trade
 with three different countries
such
 as
China
,
Japan
 and the United
Stated
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
 a 6-year period starting in 2004.
Overall
, it seems evident that the
value
 of business between the US and
Australia
 remained during the period and the
value
 of
export
 was higher than the
value
 of
import
,
while
 the
value
 of
trade
 of
Australia
 with the other countries increased. From 2004 to 2008, the
value
 of
import
 and
export
 of
Australia
 with
Japan
 were around
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20 and 10
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 in 2004, respectively.
In addition
, the
value
 of
export
 of these remained around 12
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2008,
whereas
 the
value
 of
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 reached beach to 40
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 in 2008.
Furthermore
, the
value
 of
Australia
 which
trade
Wrong verb form
traded
show examples
 with
China
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 around 10
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 for
import
 and 20
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 for
export
 in 2004.
These
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 were a quick rise to about 31
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 of both in 2008.
However
, the
value
 of
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 of the US with
Australia
 remained stable
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 and the
value
 of
export
also
 remained
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
 in 2008. In 2009, the figure for
billions
 of
dollars
 of both
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 and
export
 between
Australia
 and the US still remained.
By contrast
, the
trade
 between
China
 and
Australia
 went up in terms of
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 and
export
 to 40 and 31
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
, respectively. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
billions
 of
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 of
export
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
Australia
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Japan
also
 lightly increased
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 12
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
,
while
 the
value
 of
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 between
Australia
 and
Japan
 declined by 31
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars
.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words value, china, japan, dollars, billions, australia, trade, export, import with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: