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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many schools these days have problem with poor students behaviour why do you think these problem what could be done to tackle these problem

#schools #students #behaviour
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These days,
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students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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behaviour
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 is the big
challenging
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challenge
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that's
Unnecessary verb
that
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face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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schools
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, but what
is
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are
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the most effective methods to deal with
behaviour
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? Some believe that it is
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parents
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parents'
parent's
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 responsibility to deal with their
children
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in my opinion
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, in my opinion,
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 I have strongly agreed that
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 must do work
along with
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parents
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 to make
students
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 respect the
teachers
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 and
schools
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. There are several reasons why the
students
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 behave
by
Change preposition
in
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wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 way,
firstly
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, many disruptive
students
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Linking Words
due
Add a missing verb
are due
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 to unstable family
background
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backgrounds
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 as some
parents
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 are lenient and spoil their
children
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.
Consequently
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, they become more disruptive and problematic to
teachers
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 and their peers.
Moreover
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, some
schools
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 have too many
students
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 in one class which makes it difficult for
teachers
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 to control those
students
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. Take some African countries as
example
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an example
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, they have more than 50
students
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 in too small
area
Correct article usage
an area
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 so the
teachers
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 find
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
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 to control them. There are several ways to tackle
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this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
. First of all, The
schools
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 need to code of conduct and set rules of
behaviours
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviour
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the school must work with
parents
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 to help each other to solve
this
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 problem.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
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 alone cannot deal with
children
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 unless the
parents
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 help them .
Parents
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 must learn their
children
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 how to behave and respect others. In conclusion,
although
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 ill
behaviour
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 is common in
schools
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,
teachers
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 and families can deal with
behaviour
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 by some good instructors and hard work
Submitted by aloye.ahmed92 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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