Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Nowadays weak

countries

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are given

money

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by developed

countries

Use synonyms

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

poverty is not eradicated.

Consequently

Linking Words

, several assists in other approaches can be done by rich

countries

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so as to enhance the circumstance for poorer

countries

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. I strongly agree with

this

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opinion as what poor

countries

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need is development.

Body paragraph 1

it is my view that it is an undeniable fact that

money

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plays a vital role in everyone's life.

However

Linking Words

, some other basic amenities are more crucial than

money

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such

Linking Words

as public health, food sources, education and etc.

In addition

Linking Words

, not only are aids in other fields beneficial for that society but

also

Linking Words

this

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measure accelerates the process of development.

For example

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, if these poor

countries

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begin provided with adept teachers, their education system will revolutionize.

As a result

Linking Words

, boosting the efficiency of basic amenities is the right step in

this

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direction.

Body paragraph 2

in contrast

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, some people argue that

money

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is more substantial than other amenities. They insist that if people have enough

money

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, they will be able to have higher standards of living.

However

Linking Words

, I do not find

this

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argument convincing as the number of poor people in a society is extremely high and it is impossible to provide a huge amount of

money

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for the public.

In addition

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, the population of poor

countries

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should be taught to strive for their requirements.

As a result

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, providing basic needs is a decisive factor in weak

countries

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' investment.

For instance

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, some poor African

countries

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have equipped with up-to-the-minute gadgets so as to have access to a large range of online free courses.

Conclusion

to conclude

Linking Words

, I completely agree with

this

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notion that assisting weak

countries

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in different approaches regardless of

money

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is more important because reinforcing a country's structure gives rise to evolution and development.

fatemeh.gh9797

Aug 12, 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

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Online games are becoming more and more popular these days. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online games?

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