Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Dicuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.

#games #olympic #event #people #effects #waste #money #dicuss

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent years, kids

having

Wrong verb form

have had

show examples

their own telephones for several reasons. In my ,opinion I think having a mobile

Verb problem

has

show examples

completely a negative impact on our offspring.

However

Linking Words

, I believe

this

Linking Words

would help them to learn.In

this

Linking Words

,essay I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages and try to draw some conclusions. The first and foremost reason that I would like to explain is,

giving

Correct word choice

that giving

show examples

a phone at the early stage of a little one is equal to destroying their life. Let's see how

this

Linking Words

is affecting our

younger's

Change noun form

younger

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Using mobiles frequently causes harm to the eyes. Nowadays 35% of kids are using spectacles. Getting

addiction

Replace the word

addicted

show examples

is the second major thing. Mothers are struggling a lot when feeding their little ones. Because they need telephone even eating. And using a phone regularly can harm earning power. One study shows that in the next 50 years, Most people in the world are blind and deaf. The third major disadvantage is using mobile is a big

barriers

Change the noun form

barrier

show examples

between procreator and child bonding. heir don't have time to spend with their parents and the guardians

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

don't have the time to spend with their toddlers.

Finally

Linking Words

, Some children get depressed by using these devices. keeping an eye on the small screen is limiting their life in a small space.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they don't know how big the world is,

how

Correct word choice

or how

show examples

much of things are available to study.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, by using

these new technology

Change the determiner

this new technology

these new technologies

show examples

, kids are becoming more and more advanced. They are learning new things. They can improve their knowledge to some extent.

This

Linking Words

could lead our scion as brilliant. To sum it up, Giving the telephone at a younger age

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

lots of disadvantages.

For instance

Linking Words

, visible problems, ear problems, depression and

Linking Words

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

bond breakage with sire .

In contrast

Linking Words

, they can gain knowledge too. So the guardians should be very aware of

this

Linking Words

. They have to maintain a balance between the usage of technical devices and their healthy lifestyle. Always they have to keep an eye on it.

Submitted by akmaljeely on Sat Aug 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

339 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In contemporary times, people are more likely to try alternative medicines and treatments rather than see doctors. In this essay, I contend that this trend is a negative development because individuals who lack professional medical knowledge may have a higher likelihood of neglecting some potential diseases such as cancer.
4.5
band
In some countries,it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age.Is this a positive or negative development?
There are numerous of countries impose a ban on company which do not receive the applicantion depend on age.This author believes this is a negative phenomenon due to it has big impact on the policy of children power like take advantage of children and making children can not focus on study.
<4
band
In some country, more people are choosing to live alone. Do you think it has positive or negative effects on them?
Nowadays, a lot of people live single rather than live with someone. And there are has some positive and negative sides. In my opinion, that trend may be worst for our society.
7.5
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in the population moving overseas to different language-spoken countries, where they can face communications and day-to-day cultural issues. In my view, it is completely agree with the given statement, which can cause financial and cultural problems. This stance will be proven by carefully analysing why moving to other nations is difficult.
5
band
In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?
Some people are more hardworking than others in spheres such as education and jobs. In my opinion, people work harder because of ambitions, and when they have a goal to reach. However, I contend that it is not good for a person to push themselves permanently.

Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Dicuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some countries,it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age.Is this a positive or negative development?

In some country, more people are choosing to live alone. Do you think it has positive or negative effects on them?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?