Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Dicuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.

#games #olympic #event #people #effects #waste #money #dicuss

In recent years, kids

having

Wrong verb form

have had

show examples

their own telephones for several reasons. In my ,opinion I think having a mobile

Verb problem

has

show examples

completely a negative impact on our offspring.

However

, I believe

this

would help them to learn.In

this

,essay I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages and try to draw some conclusions. The first and foremost reason that I would like to explain is,

giving

Correct word choice

that giving

show examples

a phone at the early stage of a little one is equal to destroying their life. Let's see how

this

is affecting our

younger's

Change noun form

younger

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Using mobiles frequently causes harm to the eyes. Nowadays 35% of kids are using spectacles. Getting

addiction

Replace the word

addicted

show examples

is the second major thing. Mothers are struggling a lot when feeding their little ones. Because they need telephone even eating. And using a phone regularly can harm earning power. One study shows that in the next 50 years, Most people in the world are blind and deaf. The third major disadvantage is using mobile is a big

barriers

Change the noun form

barrier

show examples

between procreator and child bonding. heir don't have time to spend with their parents and the guardians

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

don't have the time to spend with their toddlers.

Finally

, Some children get depressed by using these devices. keeping an eye on the small screen is limiting their life in a small space.

Moreover

, they don't know how big the world is,

how

Correct word choice

or how

show examples

much of things are available to study.

On the other hand

, by using

these new technology

Change the determiner

this new technology

these new technologies

show examples

, kids are becoming more and more advanced. They are learning new things. They can improve their knowledge to some extent.

This

could lead our scion as brilliant. To sum it up, Giving the telephone at a younger age

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

lots of disadvantages.

For instance

, visible problems, ear problems, depression and

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

bond breakage with sire .

In contrast

, they can gain knowledge too. So the guardians should be very aware of

this

. They have to maintain a balance between the usage of technical devices and their healthy lifestyle. Always they have to keep an eye on it.

Submitted by akmaljeely on Sat Aug 12 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

339 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Dicuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do you advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the problem?

What is homelessness? And what you think about the reasons of for people having home less

Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What solutions are there to this problem?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the last past thirty years that many cities in the world are now on big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars.