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Band 6.5

It is better to be unemployed than to be employed in a job one does not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job
Nowadays, finding a suitable
job
 is a dream for many workers. Some believe that the atmosphere of companies should be enjoyable and others who have the opposite idea believe that a sufficient salary is more important. I strongly agree with the second idea. In the proponent's view of unemployment is better to do any skill, they believe that the first important factor which makes a positive impact on workers is the appropriate atmosphere.
For instance
, a professional boss and kind coworkers are sufficient enough to know as a favourite
job
.
Furthermore
, they believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 unemployment makes a chance to rest for some period of a year. Based on the proponent's view, an enjoyable
job
 makes things easier even with less monthly payment. On the flip side, which has strong support from many people and me, is that having a
job
 is necessary for
everyone
. The positive impact of having a
job
 is that monthly salary which helps you to stay on your feet.
In addition
, a career helps people to be in society and assist them to get away from unwanted self-isolation. As an illustration, so many famous people work after retiring age and are still in good shape and appropriate health. Based on the explanation above, finding a
job
 is necessary for
everyone
 even dough the
job
 is not their favourite one. In conclusion, based on the positive points mentioned above, having a
job
 is necessary for
everyone
, not only helps them to be in society but
also
 is a good source of income. A
job
 will be satisfactory for
everyone
 if have all the positive points,
such
 as a good atmosphere, and enough salary.
Submitted by ghsa1214 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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