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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people find it difficult to live a healthy life. What are the difficulties they face? What can these people do to become healthier?

Poor quality diet and sedentary lifestyle are two factors that lead to potential medical complications for
people
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especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 in the current era of globalization.
However
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, some
people
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 find it difficult to maintain a healthy and balanced habit for modern civilized citizens and the reasons behind these two aspects of the argument will be explored in
this
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 essay. To commence with, a busy lifestyle and the rapid development of technology are the two main key points that lead to
imbalance
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an imbalance
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 in adapting to a healthy style of living. In fact, a boisterous life forces
people
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 to tend to eat junk food which contains high in fat, cholesterol, sugar and low in nutrients
such
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 as fried chicken, hamburgers,
pizza
Correct word choice
and pizza
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 that causes obesity and diseases related to cardiovascular are becoming more and more common.
Moreover
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, the advent of computer technology in general and smartphones
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, in particular,
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in particular
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 has promoted a more passive lifestyle globally as some individuals prefer to spend their leisure time surfing Tiktok, Facebook or Youtube
instead
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 of doing exercise or ẹnjoying outdoor activities with friends. Despite those challenges and in order to address these obstacles, first and foremost, not only adjust
Correct article usage
the habitants
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habitants
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habitants'
habitant's
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 daily routine but
also
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 manage their time scientifically. To be more particular,
people
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 should change their eating habits by using nutritious foods
such
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 as being able to cook simple but healthy meals themselves or
order
Wrong verb form
ordering
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 healthy meals
instead
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 of fast food and
add
Wrong verb form
adding
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 fresh vegetables and fruits to the daily menu to increase the body's resistance.
In addition
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, if
people
Use synonyms
 want to stay
a
Correct article usage
apply
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healthy body,
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then
Correct your spelling
they
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 should put down
the
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their
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 phone and do some simple physical activities,
for example
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, walking for twenty minutes, cleaning the house, gardening or mowing the lawn and they can ride a bike
going
Wrong verb form
go
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 to work
instead
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 of taking a car or motorbike,
this
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 has a positive impact on everyone's health
as well as
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 contributes to environmental conservation. In short,
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due to
Change preposition
apply
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busyness and the speedy advancement of hi-tech, it has made it more difficult and passive for
people
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 to become healthier,
however
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, to move towards a healthier life in the future,
then
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 changing daily habits and knowing how to manage personal time in a scientific way will not be difficult to change if
people
Use synonyms
 have strong determination.

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