We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Helping individuals who live in other nations is considered to be challenging and we can

support

only

people

who belong to our own society.I believe that it is not difficult to assist

people

from other countries as there are several ways to care about them. On the one hand, every society and every government should be responsible for the condition of their population. Individuals who need financial

support

can be provided with opportunities by their authority not by others. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

every country has their own poor

people

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they have a chance to be provided good conditions or jobs by the government. In case, a country tries to maintain the stability between rich and poor

people

, they will get equality for both types of

people

.In China,

for instance

, the percentage of poor

people

is claimed almost 10% and every region has to take care of children who have no parents or adults who have no places to live.

On the other hand

,it is not denied that Apart from a far distance,

people

try to give benefits to other nations because of modern transportation and improved technologies.

People

who need

support

can

be received

Wrong verb form

receive

show examples

help from other countries’ entrepreneurs and their efforts can not be limited not only by phone or other devices but

also

they are delivered by

fast

Rephrase

apply

show examples

modelled transportation.

According to

the

last

survey, there were

people

who

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

seriously injured by earthquakes in Turkey who were given clothes, food and other items by other nations through aeroplanes and online clicks

for instance

. As to why, it seems not to be difficult to give help to other

people

who are struggling with problems. In conclusion,

people

who are experiencing difficulties should not only get profits from indigenous

people

but

also

other communities should allocate resources to

support

them.

Submitted by kmuxayyo97 on Sun Aug 13 2023

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task response

Your essay addresses the prompt and provides relevant arguments and examples.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, but the logical progression of ideas could be improved to enhance coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that to learn a second language well it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken.What is your opinion about this?

Police in some countries like England don't carry guns. Some people don't approve of this because they think that police with guns gives them security. Others think that police carrying guns decreases crimes. What is your opinion? Give relevant examples and experiences.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Scientists argue that many people eat too much junk food, and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.